Jackson Free Press

The St. Paddy's parade is not to be taken lightly. There is a large amount of trekking and carrying of ice chests to be done. There is shouting and grabbing for beads that will require extreme concentration and fortitude. And the hydration situation is the most key of all. No one likes a passed-out parade rookie on their hands.

So here's what I recommend for the optimal parade experience:

1. Your outfit needs to be comfortable enough to wear all day with minimal sweating or risk of chaffing. But don't skimp on style, either. This isn't Saturday afternoon in the park.

2. You need a wig or a crazy hat of some kind. It really is the easiest way to "dress up" without really having to work hard. Think about the Sweet Potato Queens and how much easier it is to wear a wig than a huge fake booty.
3. The crown is essential to let people know you mean business at the parade. You are not an amateur bead catcher or just there for the beer. You take this event seriously, and you want some serious beads.

4. And if they don't believe how much you care about the beads, then the megaphone is next best way to convey your message. It is also a good way to find friends who have wandered off and gotten lost in search of a bathroom.

5. Hydrate. The only way to make it through the wonderful insanity of this day is to stay well-hydrated. And not just bloody marys, Guinness, whiskey and Red Bull. I'm talking water, people. Drink some water. You and your friends will thank me in the morning.

Previous Commentsshow

I hadn't even thought about the megaphone!

Katie

Mar 19 2009

I know. Great, huh? I thought of it last year when it was too late and we were on the street. This year, it'll be around my neck come Saturday morning (if my cold recovery continues on track). I had it at the Best of Jackson party, too. (Compliments of JoAnne Morris, of course.)

DonnaLadd

Mar 19 2009

She's got the right ideas for sure, but I would rethink those shoes! They are cute, but you have to be prepared for lots of standing and walking! I'll probably be going with cute nail polish and flip flops.

andi

Mar 20 2009

Yeah, I thought that when I saw it, too. One year, as a SPQ Wannabe, I wore hot pink platform boots. They were so fabulous, but I had to hitch a ride on a float before the parade route was done! All the queens were laughing at me! I hate the painted sneakers, though. I finally found the most fabulous little hot pink keds with a lime trim at Steinmart. Too Nantucket to wear most of the time, but perfect for *that* outfit.

DonnaLadd

Mar 20 2009

Those sound cute Donna! I'd love to see those hot pink platforms though, I bet they were fabulous, just not so functional!

andi

Mar 20 2009

I still have 'em. Another Wannabe painted them, so they started peeling. But during the parade, you couldn't tell that. I used to have quite the platform collection. Made me, like 7 feet tall! Loved it.

DonnaLadd

Mar 20 2009