Jackson Free Press

From the four pages of acknowledgements to chapters like "Why I'm a Virgin" and "Who Will Stand Up for Old People," Ben Ferguson's first book "It's My America Too" (William Morrow, 2004, $23.95) seems more concerned with impressing those aforementioned "old people" than providing a voice for a largely un-categorized generation. At no point does Ferguson drop the pretense of being a good little Southern boy to address his generation—he's too busy pandering to the grownups. He uses words like "whippersnapper" and "youngblood" to describe people his age. He opens every chapter with giant, grayscale American flag clip art. It is almost inconceivable that someone Ben Ferguson's age could be this comically out of touch with, well, people his age.

Some of the book's funniest moments manifest themselves through Ferguson's attempts at establishing generational street cred. He makes a valiant show of referencing popular whippersnapper culture, but gets his youngblood-friendly facts confused. As part of a list of nicknames he had collected for weighing more than 270 pounds in high school, Ferguson claims the other kids called him ӑKenny,' like Kenny on 'South Park.'" Now anyone of any age who's ever watched a commercial for South Park knows that Cartman's the fat one—Kenny's the kid in the orange parka that dies by the end of every episode. Were Ferguson's classmates mocking him by referencing a television show they had never seen? Or is he just making up an experience to sound in touch with his generation?

At one point Ferguson actually makes the claim that "nobody had ever heard" of Janeane Garofalo, Michael Moore or Moby until they came out against the war on Iraq. He blames oral sex on Bill Clinton, the popularity of thongs on Monica Lewinsky—going so far as to say that "before it came out about Clinton and Lewinsky, if a mother had found a thong in a girl's drawer, the girl would have been grounded." As if Monica Lewinsky somehow managed to psychically twist every parent in the world's disciplinary principles. Then, out of nowhere, he devotes a chapter to how totally sweet NASCAR is, sandwiched between chapters about civil duties and family values, as if that makes him a legitimate 22-year-old.

But perhaps it isn't Ferguson's fault. Nothing takes your finger off the pulse of your generation like being kept completely separate from it. Being homeschooled and working full-time as a talk-radio host throughout most of his teen years probably didn't help with that pulse-thing. So we'll forgive him for being out of touch. His writing, on the other hand, is simply unjustifiable. His sensationalist views may have put him on an accelerated track in radio since he was 13, but his ability to form an argument hasn't left the middle-school level.

To you of legal age, I propose a Ben Ferguson drinking game; every time he repeats himself verbatim more than three times on a single page, take a shot; every time he contradicts himself, take two. I guarantee you'll be drunk by the third chapter.

He states that Americans "acted like children in saying, 'You're either with us or you're against us, and France isn't with us,'" but goes on to say, just four pages later, that "[President Bush] was right to say that you're either with us or against us when it comes to fighting terrorism."

He strongly asserts his hatred of "blanket statements about 'you conservatives' or 'you Republicans,'" but habitually perpetuates blanketed, one-sided statements such as "Liberals like one-sidedness."

The only thing as ill-conceived as his arguments is his logic. Ferguson's rantings are made up of the blandest, most predictable crap out there, the type of demagoguery typically reserved for, oh, I don't know, C-rated AM radio. Listen all you want, it's pretty much all white noise.

He blames unwed pregnancy, the AIDS crisis and divorce on condoms ("If we keep teaching and selling so-called safe sex, we are going to end up like Africa one day. We are going to have rampant HIV and AIDS and rampant rates of kids being born out of wedlock. Look at our divorce rate right now.")

He even dabbles in misogyny, stating that "The world just isn't ready for a woman U.S. president, even if we in the United States are, and having a woman as commander in chief would empower terrorists around the world. … I just don't see a woman commander in chief walking into a room at the United Nations and giving a speech and getting the kind of respect where people really shut up and listen. I just don't think they're going to take her seriously." Never mind Queen Elizabeth I. Never mind Margaret Thatcher. The world just isn't ready.

Ben Ferguson has no credentials, no real credibility—a 13-year-old talking politics on the radio is not an expert; he's a novelty act, a curio. Trouble is, somewhere along the line Ben bought into his own hype, and started believing he was qualified to crown himself the voice of young America. The resulting product is $23.95 in hardback. Don't waste your money on this book—even to marvel at it. Instead, take that money and put it toward a road trip to see the world's largest ball of twine. I guarantee it'll have just as many interesting things to say, and it'll be twice as articulate saying them.

Jacksonian Robert "Kit" Williamson interned at the JFP this summer. He is a freshman at Fordham University in New York City.

Previous Comments

ID

84303

Comment

sound to me like the intern that wrote this article is a little pissed that he is not Ben Ferguson. I would say to the Intern that you might want to get yourself some credentials before you start telling others that a book sucks. How old are you anyway, and by the way what have you done with your life besides be an intern and rip on this guys book because you are angry that you dont have one of your own. Good luck with college, it sounds like you need some experience before your ready for the real world. Thanks for the review you made me want to buy his book because of your own jeliously!!!

Author

even123

Date

2004-10-05T00:13:07-06:00

ID

84304

Comment

heh heh heh.

Author

Jay

Date

2004-10-05T07:58:08-06:00

ID

84305

Comment

I'm not sure the Kit I know indulges very often in "jeliously," but I could be wrong about him. ;-)

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2004-10-05T08:31:35-06:00

ID

84306

Comment

i've heard mr. ferguson's show a few times, but i haven't had a chance to read his book. strictly based on assumptions, though, i'm quite sure everything pointed out in mr. williamson's review is dead on. i always find his radio show kinda creepy, just like kim wade's program on 1180am. it almost seems like there's an ecstatic "hey mister corporate america! ms. fundamentalist christian! over here! i'm not like my peers! love me! love me!" mentality in overdrive. of course, i'm stereotyping here. everyone's entitled to their opinions, and sure, if someone gives you an outlet for them, take it and run... it's just that so much that i hear from this guy and others like him rings way too hollow... excellent piece, btw. look forward to more of mr. williamson's writings.

Author

Jay

Date

2004-10-05T13:07:49-06:00

ID

84307

Comment

Did I read correctly? Someone using the word "jeliously" is also stating "Good luck with college" and can't discern the use of You're and Your? Hmm. Good luck with your GED.

Author

corrosiongone

Date

2004-10-05T18:18:45-06:00

ID

84308

Comment

i can't find your contact info anywhere. except i thought mayhaps this would work. if you are aka 'kitmonsterr' send me a message or ELSE i'll die from heartbreak. or not.

Author

kseniya yarosh

Date

2004-11-30T18:22:09-06:00

ID

84309

Comment

I'm Ben's friend, so naturally I'm disappointed when I see his book derided in a review. However, I must commend Kit on a well-written, thoughtful piece. This whippersnapper has a promising future in journalism. But I can't bestow the title of "The Voice of Young America" upon him. That title belongs to Ben.

Author

sny guy

Date

2005-02-04T01:24:10-06:00