Jackson Free Press

Readers, we now bring you a report from Fester, our roving correspondent in Lower Louisiana. Fester was an eyeball witness to LSU's 31-13 victory over Mississippi State last Saturday at Death Valley. Fester called it "another disheartening coulda-shoulda-woulda effort (by the Bulldogs) ... It's just too bad that Jackie Sherrill has not been able to instill a spirit of competition amongst his Mississippi State troops who appear on the brink of another disaster. Even routine travel arrangements became a challenge for the forlorn Bulldogs, whose flight home was delayed while school and law enforcement officials searched for the AWOL Dontae Walker, who was ultimately located at the buffet table at Ryan's Steakhouse."

Fester offers some not-so-fun facts about the Bulldogs.:
— State has 4 wins in its last 17 games.
— State has 2 wins in its last 12 SEC games.
— State's last road victory was on Nov. 4, 2000, at Kentucky (35-14).
— Against LSU, State gave up its first punt return for a TD since 1994. (The Jackal works directly with special teams.)
— State has been outscored 289-146 in its last 10 SEC games.

More from Fester on sports of all sorts: "1985 was the last time that Europe beat the United States this badly in Ryder Cup competition. Obviously not enough dinero in it for Tigahwould to lead the Americans to victory, but then again, do you know anybody who cares? ... Dadgummit, Diddy Bowden took home a 26-20 Isidorian beating from Louisville last Thursday night. That's almost as heartbreaking as the St. Louis Shams' 0-4 start. ... The Biting Irish took last week off, but that will not deter Fester from saying they're overrated. ... The feud lives on. On the SEC coaches teleconference on Sept. 25, Jackie Sherrill when asked about Tommy Tubberville's fake field goal very late in the game (Sept. 19) with Auburn leading the Dogs 35-14, said sometimes you've got to 'consider the source and move on.' There are some in MSU circles hoping for Jackie himself to 'move on.' ... News flash: LSU has no passing game."