Jackson Free Press

Support for Ken Stiggers' "The Haley Barbour Head Start Ho' Howse" is brought to you courtesy of The Dan Quail Spellin' Bea (Sowwy, that's BEE) Literacy Tour; Rudyard Kipling White Man's Burden Post Moredom Therapy Center, International; The Trent Lott Reparations Council, and the Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell Anti-Ebonic Urban Youth Literary Initiative.

Dear PBS,

Allow me, Jackson's resident satirist, to pitch this idea for a new children's show on PBS. It's inspired by a remark from Republican candidate for governor Haley Barbour. He is quoted as saying: "Headstart is a godsend for Mississippi. Some of those kids in it would be better off sitting up on a piano bench in a whorehouse than where they are now."

Now picture this: a graphic of an ear-to-ear grinning Big Daddy Roscoe Lee Roi,III,Esq,Inc.,LLC.,Co., the Bling, Bling King of the New Millennium, seated at the piano surrounded by scantily clad (but muscially inclined) whores. The following text (with voiceover in ebonic dialect) is keyed over the graphic:

Support for "The Haley Barbour Head Start Ho' Howse" is brought to you courtesy of The Dan Quail Spellin' Bea (Sowwy, that's BEE) Literacy Tour; Rudyard Kipling White Man's Burden Post Moredom Therapy Center, International; The Trent Lott Reparations Council, and the Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell Anti-Ebonic Urban Youth Literary Initiative.

Fade up from black to Roscoe and da Ho's at the piano. As Roscoe plays an introductory circus music riff on the keys, "Dolly In" to a big close-up of Roscoe saying, "Wimminz and Gentlemenzez, It's time fo' the friend of the 'chillunz' of the Workin' Po', Mistuh Haleyyyyyy Barbourrrrr!" Canned applause follows. "Dolly out" from Roscoe to reveal our host, Haley, bowing at the camera before his conservative viewers. In the background Roscoe and the whores play and sing.

Cut to a "Medium Shot" of our host introducing various segments featured on the "Haley Barbour Headstart Ho' Howse."

The show ends with Haley, Roscoe and Da Ho's seated outside at the steps of the local brothel waving to their viewing audience. The End.

So what's the point? In the mind of this satirist and many other progressive type folk (black and white), Mr. Barbour's Whore House analogy conjures up some wacked stereotypical images. His statement is slightly more absurd than this letter. In the meantime, I'll take it for what it's worth.

Ken Stiggers is a satirist and television producer in Jackson.