Jackson Free Press

Presenting the new ABC (African Broadcast Corp.) network soap opera "All God's Churn Got Shoes." Our story takes place at the No Child Left Behind Remedial Alternative School for the Financially Challenged where Miss Teacher conducts her weekly oral examination of students in the spelling and language arts class. She asks her prize student Boneqweesha Jones to define the word "churn."

Boneqweesha: "A churn is a device that makes butter, and it means to be nervously excited."

Mo'tel Williams enters the classroom late because he has just received a free supa-gherri-curl-touch-up at Hair Did University School of Cosmetology. Miss Teacher puts Mo'tel on the spot and asks him to use the word "churn" in a sentence.

Mo' tel: "OK, Miss Teacher, baby! I gotcha! Every weekday—around 2 p.m.—grandma and I sit on the couch in front of the wide-screen, high-definition plasma TV set with the digital remote and watch our favorite soap opera 'All My Churn'!"

An agitated Miss Teacher fumes with disgust and kicks Mo'tel out of the spelling and language arts class.

Tune in next episode when M.C. George Bushy and Dan Quayle read to financially challenged elementary school "churn."

M.C. Bushy: "Dan, the word 'tomato' is spelled with the letter 'e' on the end, OK? Let me read to the 'churn' some passages from this Michael Moore book."

"All God's Churn Got Shoes" is a Mo'tel Williams production in cooperation with the Pookie Peterz Back That Thang Up Voter Registration Project.

Ken Stiggers is a television producer in Jackson and host of The Lyric Lounge Thursday nights at Daiquiri World, 1766 Ellis Ave. at Raymond Road.