Jackson Free Press

2057-1/2: Terrorists have contaminated half of America's food supply. Since 2005, the affluent consume basic food items such as meat, bread, milk and vegetables, while the economically challenged eat moderate rations of water and artificially flavored green wafers called Soylent Collard Greens and Cornbread. Remember: Tuesday is Soylent Collard Greens and Cornbread Day!

Inside a downtrodden urban area, the Ghetto Science Team recall an old secret from slavery days—passed on from the late ghetto scientist Dr. Peanut—and re-discover a way to grow food and herbs without soil. Stored inside the GST community food bank are seasoning/food items, like smoked turkey necks, canned goods, dried vegetables and salt pork. From all over, people come to the 'hood to enjoy a fresh cooked delicacy like collard greens and cornbread, courtesy of GST Soul Food Inc.

With a mouthful, an aged Lil' Pookie speaks: "The GST threw down with this here soul food feast! I was tired of those tasteless green crackers!" While sucking the juice from a smoked turkey neck bone, Lil' Ray-Ray responds: "Bruh, this meal sho' is gooooood! I hope the government doesn't know about this lil' secret and take our happiness away!"

Suddenly, two FDA government agents burst through the doors of GST Soul Food and say: "We smelled some collards cookin'! Hook a brotha up with a plate!"

Ghetto Science Productions present Soylent Collard Greens and Cornbread, a Kunta "Rasheed X" Toby film.

Ken Stiggers is a TV producer in Jackson and the co-host of the Lyric Lounge at Daiquiri World Thursday nights.