Jackson Free Press

A. It's column time again, and I have not received any bona fide questions to answer lately. (It's not difficult, by the way, to have your questions qualify as bona fide.) But I'm nothing, if not serious about my duty, and so I'll give you answers anyway. Maybe after you read these, you'll take your job more seriously. Then again, maybe you already have.

1. Because it's right.

2. "You've got to be taught to hate and fear." ("South Pacific")

3. "It's not easy being green. " (Kermit the Frog)

4. "Hopefully," which has become ubiquitous in popular writing and conversion, is almost never used grammatically. Take this sentence, for example: "Hopefully, the sun will shine tomorrow." Ungrammatical! Of course, I'll be delighted to explain to you why. I will explain it in terms of grammar and meaning, which, despite popular opinion, actually are connected.

The word "hopefully" is an adverb and, therefore, it must modify—that is, affect or clarify the meaning of—a verb, an adjective or other adverb in the sentence. Specifically, "hopefully" tells how about another word in the sentence. The only word that "hopefully"can potentially modify in this sentence is the verb, "shine." How does the sun shine? Hopefully. Hopefully? That makes absolutely no sense. The sun will not/cannot shine hopefully tomorrow—or any other day, as far as I know.

When you say, "Hopefully, the sun will shine," YOU are the one who is hopeful. But YOU do not appear in the sentence. What you're really trying to convey is "I hope the sun will shine tomorrow" or "I am hopeful that the sun will shine tomorrow." And those two sentences are grammatical ways to express what you actually mean.

"Hopefully" IS grammatical, however, in the next sentence: "Hopefully, I peer into my mailbox every day for a check." In that sentence "Hopefully" does affect the meaning of the verb "peer." It explains how you peer. (But, just to drum this in: "Hopefully, I'll find a check in my mailbox" is NOT grammatical. )

Do you see now? I think you do. But, if you still do not, I hope you will think hopefully about your ability to learn.

5. Because you need to know.

6. "Please, God. Don't let me be normal." ("The Fantastiks")

7. But do make sure I'm always grammatical. (Anon.)