Jackson Free Press

Your presidential candidate for 2004, Mo'tel Williams: "Ladies and gentlemen! I know it's late. But since Jessie and Al are past tense, I think I have a chance. I'm not here to lie to yawl, even though everybody else has. Case in point: African-Americans were promised 40 acres and a mule, received nothing and were fooled.

"Anyway, the Cream-O-Wheat man (my vice presidential running mate) and I constantly put our heads together regarding national and world issues, and I must say, he has a hard head under that chef's hat. Despite the knots we put on each other's head, we conclude that our campaign slogan reflects our hope for America: Help America by helping the po' folk. If we break this promise, the whole world will be doomed. Creamy and I will work as hard as we can to get the American people outta debt and help those folk who are trapped in the ghetto like fish in a net.

"What about the war on terrorism? Terrorism is losing yo' job, avoiding bill collectors, no food in the refrigerator and no bus fare. The Bible says the love of many will wax cold, meaning nobody is sympathetic. No privacy, equality or civil rights. It is winter in America, baby. So if you can't stand the cold, put yo' coat on, bare the elements, register and vote for Mo'tel Williams as yo' president-A man with a warm heart who will do his bestest to help the peoples. Thank ya!"

Ken Stiggers is a TV producer in Jackson and the co-host of Lyric Lounge Thursdays at Daiquiri World.