Jackson Free Press

Financially challenged individuals! If you missed out on Oprah's car giveaway, don't fret! The Ghetto Science Team may have a car for you courtesy of H.B.N. Instead of giving away brand new Pontiacs, the Ghetto Science Team's Hoopty Bargain Network will sell you affordable pre-owned and/or refurbished late-model automobiles.

Grandma Pookie has the lowdown at the Right, Reverend, Pastor Cletus Car Sales: "Have mercy! The preacher got a good word and car for his senior citizen friends who drive to mid-week Bible study and Sunday "Chuch" (church) service. Cadillac is the word, and a 1978 Coupe de Ville, the car, complete with 8-track tape, power windows, heat and air condition—as soon as Lil Ray Ray fix the radiator and rear brakes. Call the good reverend and get a good deal."

Dr. Peanut says: "Ray Ray is a genius! He just completed a "Pimp My Ride" ghetto car makeover on a 1987 Taurus, complete with 1,000-watt sound system, DVD, 24-inch tire rims and indoor chandelier light fixture. Bruh Ray-Ray wants to hear from all the playas!"

And Boneqweesha speaks for the women: "Girlfriends, the '88 Ford van is the right choice for the busy supa sista single momma. Put yo' laundry in the back, kids in the seats while you drive the streets with the gangsta lean, baby. Call Rev. Cletus and buy his old "chuch" van!

Let The Ghetto Science Team fulfill your car dream—call the Hoopty Bargain Network at 1-800- Cheap-Car.

Ken Stiggers is a television producer in Jackson. He is also the co-host of The Lyric Lounge every Thursday night at Daiquiri World.