Boneqweesha Jones, the president of Hair-Did University's Schools of Cosmetology, Hair Styling and On-the-scene reporting, addresses the freshman class: "To each member of the freshman class, I'm pleased that you did the right thing in the midst of tough times by choosing H.D.U. for your post-secondary education. We poor folk must pay the 'high' price because we allowed ourselves to be 'okie-doked' (tricked) by the 'American Scream.'
"Also, the nightmare of astronomical fuel prices has contaminated our lifestyle. Holla if ya hear me! Nevertheless, you've decided wisely to bypass the traditional college/university because your condition reflects the line from Gershwin's musical 'Porgy and Bess:' 'I have plenty of nothing.'
"At H.D.U., we have plenty of practical things for you! We have the L.M.H.F.D. National Bank work study, financial aid, food stamps for gasoline and WIC voucher program. We've also added low-cost student housing at Sista and Momma Church Hat's Boarding House. (All H.D.U. boarders are required to attend the weekly hallelujah-praise-Bible-study-prayer-meeting and sunrise church service.)
"Finally, you'll receive quality education, which prepares you to make a living for yourself and not work for someone who could terminate your job at any time.
"Someone said: 'Tough times don't last, but tough people do.' And the late Curtis Mayfield said: 'If you got your strength, it doesn't make any sense NOT to keep on pushin'—especially as G.W. makes the world go 'round."
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