Jackson Free Press

Funding for the Ghetto Science Team's No Child Left Behind School Bus for the financially challenged is brought to you by a grant from the L.M.H.F.D. (Let Me Hold Five Dollars) National Bank educational trust fund.

And now a word from Superintendent Grandma Pookie:

"Welcome to self-determined, alternative education for our children. The Ghetto Science Team and I have commissioned a school bus that will transport students to appointed learning zones in the community, with help from our holistic health consultant Dr. Peanut, resident mechanic Lil' Ray-Ray, and a committed core teaching staff of laid-off educators affected by federal, state and local budget cuts.

"Our school bus will transport students to appointed learning facilities.

"Depending on the weather, various parks with half-court basketball, swings, sliding board, grassy field area and other playground equipment will function as our physical education facility. Clubb Chicken Wing will have instructors such as the Sausage Sandwich Sisters and Dr. Blues the guitar master teaching music, fine arts, language arts, theater and dance. (Breakfast and lunch provided by the Clubb Chicken Wing kitchen crew.) Open-air science classes will be held at Grandpa Pookie's back porch and vegetable garden. Lil' Ray-Ray's car detail shop will serve as the vocational education center. The public library will function as our central computerized learning and research facility.

"And we will use recycled books and school supplies.

"So, all aboard children! Take the road to alternative education on the bus that will not leave any child behind."

Ken Stiggers is a television producer in Jackson and the co-host of The Lyric Lounge at Santiago's every Thursday night.