If God Could Snicker | Jackson Free Press | Jackson, MS

If God Could Snicker

So earlier, if you were at home, and you heard this loud crunching sound...that was the sound of a short blonde woman collapsing in hysterical laughter while standing too close to a bag of Lay's salt and vinegar potato chips.

Conservative Christian broadcaster Pat Robertson told citizens of a Pennsylvania town that they had rejected God by voting their school board out of office for supporting "intelligent design" and warned them Thursday not to be surprised if disaster struck.

Dear God,

Thank you for making Pat Robertson. If only for the bad hair and the entertainment. I know he probably annoys the hell out of you in the way he seems to want you to kill people and cause natural disasters, but he sure does make me happy. I especially love the way that both his foot and head seem to be constantly inserted into uncomfortably small orifices.

Thanks and, um, can you work on that "rich and famous" thing?
Ali

P.S. If you're busy maybe I could just ask Pat?

Just another snippet so we may snicker together...

I'd like to say to the good citizens of Dover: if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to God, you just rejected Him from your city," Robertson said on his daily television show broadcast from Virginia, "The 700 Club."

"And don't wonder why He hasn't helped you when problems begin, if they begin. I'm not saying they will, but if they do, just remember, you just voted God out of your city. And if that's the case, don't ask for His help because he might not be there," he said.

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