Here's a brief pre-holiday message from Pork-N-Piggly CEO and former third-string NFL football star Ernest "Monday Night Football Head" Walker: "An inflated economy has produced a depressed nation of price-gouged poor people already in debt before Christmas. Family gatherings will be sparse this year because children and grandchildren cannot afford to go over the river and through the woods to grandmomma's house.
"My sympathies go out to disappointed, financially challenged children, who will receive cheap toys and no Gameboys. And what will the lonely and confused senior citizens on Medicaid do for Christmas? In the words of comedian, Rickey Smiley, 'I have 'no-eye-deer!''
"Let The Pork-N-Piggly staff ease your troubled mind, body, spirit, pocketbook and wallet this holiday season with our Pot Luck Holiday Dinner Gathering and Disco. Come and enjoy your fellow financially challenged neighbors at the table-full-o-food, courtesy of the Pork-N-Piggly staff and several high-profile community members. Everyone from Cootie to Judy McBride will be there to provide discounted legal, financial, psychological and Medicaid services.
"Rev. Cletus has volunteered transportation services via the Double Dutch Church Bus. The Momma Church Hat Fashion Squad will provide and coordinate entertainment. Brotha Hustle has inexpensive gifts and Juicy-Juice on ice for the kids. D.J. Old Skool Pete will spin the 'platters that matter' during the after-dinner disco. And look out for Brotha Sylvester's 'Missing Toe' art display. Happy Holidays, as G.W. makes the world go 'round!"
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