Jackson Free Press

So, I bought this lip gloss online that was flavored "Monkey Farts".

Of course I bought it online. This is Mississippi, we have one porn store that can't stay open and if any product even thought about advertising itself with "farts" in the name certain southern people would quite nicely suggest to the manufactorers that maybe it should be changed to "Monkey Passes Gas For Jesus". That is, if it wasn't a horrible inconvenience to them.

All I have to say about it, other than it having the best name EVER, is the fact that I was unaware that monkies farted great gobs of bubble gum and banana flavoring.

Previous Comments

ID

103290

Comment

I don't know whether I want to laugh or puke!

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2005-10-25T08:46:12-06:00

ID

103291

Comment

That's funny. I often have that SAME reaction after evaluating things I've purchased. ;) I will say about the "My Lip Stuff" brand in general...if anyone wants a great cheap lip balm, it can't be beat. I also have these flavors 1) Jalepeno-hot as hell but makes your lips red and plump 2) Pineapple Upside Down Cake-YUM, Just YUM...its sweetened with Stevia 3) Funnel Cake -tastes just like the fair 4) Eggnog-Creamy and vanilla 5) Cherry Chocolates-more cherry than chocolate 6) Clove-makes your lips feels like you are smoking a clove cigarette 7) Cocunut Creme Pie-its alright, it would be better if it was flavored more 8) Lemon Drop Cookies-tastes just like lemon squares. Extra lemon. And there is a little glimpse of my mental illness regarding flavored lip balms. If anyone has any further questions regarding "products" please feel free to ask. For I am a product whore. ;)

Author

Lori G

Date

2005-10-25T11:16:43-06:00

ID

103292

Comment

I ordered the Monkey Farts flavor after clicking on the link. If I like it, I'll order some of the other flavors. If monkey farts really smell that great, I'll trade in my cat!

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2005-10-25T19:04:45-06:00

ID

103293

Comment

This is funny--I don't remember reading this article, but today I almost bought one of those assorted three-packs of aromatherapy chapstick (not the brand name; I forget the company that makes it, but it's a well-known name brand). One promised to relax me, another to revitalize me (or something to that general effect), and I forget the third. Have you seen the peppermint holiday Chapstick-brand chapstick? What a clever idea; they should make that a year-round thing. But I don't see how it can compete with JalepeÒo. Which, I imagine, hurts like the dickens if your lips are badly chapped. Be sure to let me know how the monkey farts smell to you. (Phrase I Never Thought I'd Use #474...) Cheers, TH

Author

Tom Head

Date

2005-10-25T20:25:11-06:00

ID

103294

Comment

Well, I just got an email from the My Lip Stuff people and they are having "REINDEER POOP" as one of their holiday flavors (it'll probably be chocolate and mint flavored)!

Author

Lori G

Date

2005-10-26T05:34:59-06:00

ID

103295

Comment

Reindeer Poop. Okay....

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2005-10-26T19:26:23-06:00

ID

103296

Comment

At least we hope it's chocolate and mint flavored... Cheers, TH

Author

Tom Head

Date

2005-10-26T22:37:45-06:00