Jackson Free Press

I had begun a series of Sunday sermons pulling Jerry around by the short ones, but was unable to update it yesterday because someone at Fallwell Ministries was being lazy and didn't update his weekly "letter".

At least, it hadn't been updated before noon when I checked it, repeatedly, and with great angst. But, I looked today and there it was. Shining like the ArchAngel Gabriel.

Anyway, this week I almost agreed with Jerry and then I threw up. I'm back now. Medicated. And willing to partially explain.

See, he says this at the end and just pulls my little social worker marionette strings

These are dark days. We must be prepared for His imminent return, while we share the Gospel in tandem with our mercy ministries of feeding the hungry and clothing the naked.

And by this, I mean the part about people being naked. Because I truly believe that while clergy are not well known for putting clothes back on naked people, it is a worthy goal to say that we should attempt to end the shrunken and chill-bumped plight of naked people in this country.

Because, people just can't be walking around naked. People would think this was France, or something.

The rest of the sermon was about whether or not God was mad at us and sent those hurricanes. It was kindegarten stuff.

OF COURSE, God is mad at us.

Why else would he make us fat, poor, and lazy?

SO HE COULD PUNISH US FOR IT, THAT'S WHY.

Previous Comments

ID

103297

Comment

You think Jerry is ridiculous... You should sign up for the AFA Action Alertes... Whew! They'll blow your mind. Everything from Blockbuster selling porn to Disney in bed with Satan! And don't mind Proctor and Gamble. They're the Antichrist. The AFA told me. ;-)

Author

kaust

Date

2005-10-24T19:16:58-06:00

ID

103298

Comment

Emilyb sent me one of those "Action Alerts". I think it was the one dealing with Target selling "sex-you-all" devices and how we should boycott them.

Author

Lori G

Date

2005-10-25T05:23:12-06:00