[Stiggers] Help Is On The Way! | Jackson Free Press | Jackson, MS

[Stiggers] Help Is On The Way!

It's time for "Rescue 911 is a Joke" with Flava-Flav: "Yeah boyeeeee! Check out this phone call between Mayor Ray Nagin of New Orleans and Sis Ernestine, the Emergency Operator."

Ernestine answers phone after 10 ringy dingies: "Snort … This is Ernestine. How may I help you?"

Ray Nagin: "This is the mayor of New Orleans with an urgent request for help. While these floodwaters rise, crackheads need a fix, sick folk are dying, and people need food and water. It's awful down here. I need reinforcements, troops, buses, everything!

Ernestine: "Mr. Naggin, sir …"

Ray Nagin: "That's Nagin, not Naggin!"

Ernestine: "I'm sorry, Mr. Naggin. The president, vice president and secretary of state are vacationing, and FEMA is BRAINSTORMING—excuse my pun—with the National Guard. … Snort!"

Ray Nagin: "Miss Ernestine, your jokes are tired. If something doesn't happen now, I'm gonna get rowdy, loud and BLACK! You feel me?"

Ernestine: "Hold your horsies, Mr. Naggin! Help is on the way! And remember: Long distance is the next best thing to being there. … Snort! Snort!"

Frustrated Ray Nagin: "Aw crap! Don't tell me people are coming here! They're not here! It's too doggone late. Now get off you're @SS and do something, and let's fix the biggest GODD@MN crisis in the history of this country!!!" (Nagin hangs up the phone.)

Ernestine watches Wolf Blitzer of CNN News report on Hurricane Katrina victims.

Ernestine: "My, those poor people are sooo black."

Ken Stiggers is a TV producer in Jackson.

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