Jackson Free Press

Look at the kind of crap that is helping beef up the "news headlines" over on Gannett's local "information center," now that the Ledger is, uh, moving beyond the idea of doing newspapers. Folks, this is a press release posted verbatim in the breaking news area—and note that it is not tagged as a press release or a "statement" or as quoted "verbatim," as we do when we put press releases (about important stuff, but I quibble) in the Noise section.

The breaking press release about Razor Relief cream.

What's next after newspapers for Gannett?

Sigh. This is just too easy.

Previous Comments

ID

109361

Comment

But maybe it's MAGIC Razor Relief cream! You ever think of that? Huh? Huh? Sorry. I don't know what came over me. I... I... Just... Lost it. Kind of surprised they didn't find a way to push their agenda somehow in that article by talking about Haley Barbour's smooth, sexy legs, or claiming that there would be free razors too if it weren't for Faye Peterson, or something of that general nature. Cheers, TH

Author

Tom Head

Date

2006-12-18T12:09:39-06:00

ID

109362

Comment

Right. There is that, Tom. ;-) You are giving me some ideas for a big o' JFP satire, however!

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-18T12:11:02-06:00

ID

109363

Comment

Oh, that would rock! Other satire column ideas: 1. Police: Be on Lookout for Young Black Male Law enforcement officials investigating a series of burglaries in northeast Jackson have warned residents to be on the lookout for the suspect, described as a young black male... 2. Endorsement: Hinds County D.A. Candidate, Name TBA Although Peterson comes into the 2007 election as a prosecutorial veteran, her qualifications are easily surpassed by the unique and compelling message of her challenger, whatever that message might turn out to be... 3. Wacky World Leader Gives Us Years of Fun to Look Forward To What will Kim Jong-il think of next? That's the question that's on our minds as we continue to report on the eccentric habits and wild antics of this unorthodox character. It's a journalist's dream!... 4. Editorial: It's Still Harvey Johnson's Fault Although it is not yet clear how, the problems Jackson faces can't be easily traced to the Melton administration. They are much deeper, and more complex, than that... I could go on, but at this point I don't know whether I'm being funny or just depressing. Cheers, TH

Author

Tom Head

Date

2006-12-18T12:53:38-06:00

ID

109364

Comment

These are hilarious. Others, feel free to join in. I may pull some of these to put in the New Year's issue. ;-D Pile on, as the mood strikes.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-18T12:58:04-06:00

ID

109365

Comment

Breaking News: Frank Melton proclaimed King of Jackson! Stokes and Bluntson named heirs to the throne: Ben Allen asks for recount.

Author

Lady Havoc

Date

2006-12-18T14:06:50-06:00

ID

109366

Comment

I'll always remember where I was when I heard the news about razor relief cream...

Author

Brent Cox

Date

2006-12-18T15:43:29-06:00

ID

109367

Comment

Ben Allen asks for recount. Chortle! Lady, you are on today, girlfriend.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-18T15:51:13-06:00

ID

109368

Comment

(chuckle) Thanks, Donna. I may think of more as the meds kick in. :)

Author

Lady Havoc

Date

2006-12-18T15:57:34-06:00

ID

109369

Comment

I'm countin' on it. Talk about User-Generated Content. ;-)

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-18T15:58:27-06:00

ID

109370

Comment

This Just In: Potholes found in Jackson. City forms Committee to study matter.

Author

Ironghost

Date

2006-12-18T20:50:56-06:00

ID

109371

Comment

This was serious journalism! There's no telling how many males suffer from "keeloodal scaring" . I may be a victim and I don't even know it. Any lawyers want to take my case? Besides DL, you need to be sensative to men who suffer side effects of personal male grooming. Can you say "Serious Lack of What to Publish on the Web"? Gotta love the clueless. Doc

Author

Doc Rogers

Date

2006-12-18T22:18:06-06:00

ID

109372

Comment

Giggle. So, this is what Gannett is giving up on newspapers to do!?! Publish untagged press releases about Razor Relief cream? It has "Clarion-Ledger" at the top as if they wrote it! Gotta love the clueless, indeed. Shrink your reporting budgets because, you know, no one cares about news and indepth reporting anymore. Then put your emphasis on new online "information centers" and publish press releases about razor cream. Wow. I'm insulted as a reader. Anyone else?

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-18T22:35:22-06:00

ID

109373

Comment

This was serious journalism! There's no telling how many males suffer from "keeloodal scaring" . Keloidal scarring is common among African Americans. A keloid is a raised scar that looks kind of shiny, and they don't go away, so the last place you want them is on your face. Folks who are prone to keloids are usually afraid to get any type of cut or wound because the scar could turn into a keloid. I'm sure the issue is serious to those who have to deal with keloids, but I wouldn't call it front page news by any means.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-12-18T22:46:58-06:00

ID

109374

Comment

It sounds as if there is a story in there certainly, but I don't think it resides in an unmarked press release disguised as breaking news. I'll see if we can rustle up something done a bit differently on the topic.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-18T22:51:00-06:00

ID

109375

Comment

What's an "information center?" That sounds so 1984 I'm feelling scared. Of course the 30 second sound bites on TV have become information centers. News and infotainement are now the same. The new anti-smoking campaign comes as close as I know to condensing serious issues to an infoblurb. Shaving the hairy backs of fat guys grabs attention. Reckon they suffer from "keelodal scaring"? Do they know that a shaving cream can prevent thier personal male grooming nightmares? Thanks to the CL, we now have the answer at our local information center. We're one up on ya New York! Eat this Chuckie Rangel!

Author

Doc Rogers

Date

2006-12-18T23:00:33-06:00

ID

109376

Comment

Doc, it had never occurred to me before, but "information center" does sound Orwellian. Wasn't that the agency Winston worked for? Cheers, TH

Author

Tom Head

Date

2006-12-19T06:38:18-06:00

ID

109377

Comment

How about this for today's latest headline at the C-L: USM to play Ohio in GMAC Bowl Wow, Ledge, thanks for breaking this story to me! I've only known about this for two weeks!

Author

golden eagle

Date

2006-12-19T10:31:31-06:00

ID

109378

Comment

Doc, it had never occurred to me before, but "information center" does sound Orwellian. Wasn't that the agency Winston worked for? You're thinking of the Ministry of Truth.

Author

Ex

Date

2006-12-19T10:37:20-06:00

ID

109379

Comment

You may have been thinking of George Orwell. He worked for the UK's Ministry of Information during World War II.

Author

Ex

Date

2006-12-19T10:51:44-06:00

ID

109380

Comment

Y'all are right. This is so Orwellian—which is appropriate coming from the company that wants to squish all its competition, even as it reduces actual reporting budgets. Gannett is certainly Big Brother in the newspaper world. I have another thought for what to call The Clarion-Ledger: The Corporate Hub Formerly Known as a Newspaper. Maybe they could use some symbol on their masthead instead of the name Clarion-Ledger. Oh, and we already know that the Ledge has a very active Memory Hole over there—especially about anything to do with the pasts of Frank Melton, Frank Bluntson and their buddies. Or, for that matter, their role in the Meridian lawsuit against Melton.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-19T11:04:01-06:00

ID

109381

Comment

My GMother had a saying: "Get up and get out of here - You have just RUN OUT! This meant that you were talking too much too long about too little and that you were making it up as you talked. I think that the CL had just simply "RUN OUT."

Author

justjess

Date

2006-12-19T11:11:20-06:00

ID

109382

Comment

Agreed. I think they're throwing any thing they can find up on the Web site to make it look like an "information center." In other words, once again, they think their readers are dumb. Twas remarkable to read Agnew and Hampton's columns on Sunday. Both were extremely defensive, especially Agnews, and seemed to be begging for more reader input and participation (even after they fracked up their Web site and lost a bunch of commenters). But the Quote o' the Week (maybe the Year) definitely goes to Ronnie Agnew: In this business, you can get so caught up with managing the news, sometimes you forget that what's produced has an impact on people. Umm, how should I put this: Any editor or reports who *ever* forgets this basic fact should be fired on contact. But it's nice of him to point out the exact problem with his newspaper for us. As if we didn't know it already. The remarkable part is that he seems to think such an admission is hunky-dory. And the "managing the news" part, I'll leave to the iTodd to address as he sees fit. I'll just shake my head in bemusement until his next column comes out. Be prepared for fireworks.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-19T11:26:32-06:00

ID

109383

Comment

I'll add that I never really understood that "Freedom of the press..." thing in the constitution until lately. Seemed liberals were cramming secular/progressive under this guise. Maybe that's still true, but count me on the frontline of free press. Somebody has to allow alternate views at all times . Once it comes under a single perview, we're doomed as a democracy. Selling ads has driven us to this "tell them what they want to hear". I hope capitalism doesn't kill the free press. Thank God BF didn't have to sell adds. America may have never taken off!

Author

Doc Rogers

Date

2006-12-19T23:05:38-06:00

ID

109384

Comment

OK Gang, today's game is to see how many errors you can find in this story in the CL. The stolen car zig-zagged through the leftover fog Tuesday morning. It bounced off the curb. It crushed Santa Claus. Then it destroyed the front of Savannah Jenkins' Maple Street house in Jackson, broke her momma's china cabinet and flattened her new dining room table. Police are searching for the man driving the stolen car. He fled shortly after the crash. And though neighbors said they knew the man's identity, Cmdr. Lee Vance said police had made no arrests and were not ready Tuesday to name a suspect. No injuries were reported. It all began about 7:30 a.m. Jenkins, renting a small house at 536 Maple St. for $116 a month, had been up for hours already. "I get up early every morning just like if I had a job," she said. Across the street at 521 Maple St., Grover White was checking on his Christmas lights. "I seen the whole thing. I was standing on the porch," explained White, 63, a retired construction worker and sort of a watchdog for the neighborhood near Fortification Street and Martin Luther King Drive. He heard a screeching. He saw a "brown streak" barreling down the road. An older model Honda Accord screamed through a stop sign, swerved and hit the curb in front of White's mailbox, he said. "If it hadn't been for that curb, he'd have took down my mailbox," White said. "That would have been three hours' work." The car bounced toward Jenkins' house. Jenkins, 45, stood at her kitchen sink. She filled an orange, plastic coffee mug with water. She walked toward the dining room table, the shiny one her niece had just bought for $499 at a flea market. Crash. Santa, a stuffed likeness that Jenkins' had put on a folding metal chair outside, was demolished. The Honda crashed through the front of the house, pushing the table up against Jenkins' legs. "There's a car up in here!" she screamed. Her niece, 20, was in a bedroom. Jenkins repeated herself. "There's a car in my kitchen!" The man in the car ran away. Broken pipes spewed water all over the house. White ran back home. He grabbed his video camera. He'd been keeping it in the window sill so he could catch the thugs and hooligans in his neighborhood doing thuggish things, he said. "If I hadn't panicked, I could have got the guy on tape," White said. Later in the afternoon, Jenkins' landlord and his brother were at the house, ripping out what remained of the destroyed wall and replacing it. "We can fix the house," said the landlord, Mickey Jenkins, who is not related to Savannah Jenkins, "but she lost her furniture." Neither Mickey Jenkins nor Savannah Jenkins had insurance, they both said. The landlord said he owns several homes in the area, but it's gotten so run down that the insurance companies keep canceling his policies. Either way, Savannah Jenkins is missing her dining room table now. The throw rug in her living room was sopping wet. There were crickets crawling through the sloppy mud on her kitchen floor. And though her kitchen wall had been replaced by late Tuesday afternoon, Jenkins was still angry about her new table, now in splinters.

Author

Kingfish

Date

2006-12-20T07:46:08-06:00

ID

109385

Comment

1. Then it destroyed....table. Prepositional phrase used as sentence. 2. It all began about 7:30. About? 3. "broker her mama's". anyone see a problem with using mama? 4. and though.............splinters. Prepositional phrase again. Don't you love writers who write as if they are talking?

Author

Kingfish

Date

2006-12-20T07:50:09-06:00

ID

109386

Comment

What stands out to me is that the story is not in a clear chronological order. There's a lot of jumping around.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-12-20T23:05:15-06:00

ID

109387

Comment

That too.

Author

Kingfish

Date

2006-12-20T23:33:46-06:00