Jackson Free Press

I've been saving up for this one. One, Vanity Fair owes us an apology OR a rebuttal. Two, Christopher Hitchens's picture looks like a mustached woman waiting for her bread to rise. Now we know that there is nothing more insulting to a man than to allude him as a woman. That is why I feel comfortable calling this columnist a pussy. Here's why.

"As every father knows, the placenta is made up of brain cells, which migrate southward during pregnancy and take the sense of humor along with them."

Mr. Hitchens goes on to pontificate why women aren't funny. He also points out that women humorists are "hefty or dykey or Jewish." Wow Chris. How so very ingorant of you.

He bases his argument on a weak study of ten men and women and, of course, his own observations.

I have tons to say on this. But for the record, Mr. Hitchens, women laugh at you so's not to make you feel like you are inadequate. As you say in your column, insulting a man's humor is taboo. So just because they are laughing, it doesn't mean men are funny. We've spent years laughing at fart jokes because we don't want to hear you ask, for days on end, if you are funny. It's easier to just say yes. We do the same with penis size. Just so you know, your wife is lying to you about that as well.

Dorothy Parker was funny, but more importantly, smart. Maybe that's the lesson here. As Parker would say, "Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words."

Good workout there Mr. I'm sure you needed it. However, just because you don't get the joke doesn't mean it's not funny. And if that plancenta theory were true, I suggest you fry some up ala Tom Cruise. We need something to laugh at besides your unsubstantiated arrogance.

Previous Comments

ID

109629

Comment

Here's where to ask for restitution on Christopher's waste of column space: http://www.vanityfair.com/contact/emailLetters Women comics such as Mo Collins are asking for an apology from Vanity Fair. If Mo Collins ain't funny, my placenta was made of chocolate.

Author

emilyb

Date

2006-12-28T13:44:36-06:00

ID

109630

Comment

And there's a Fruedian slip on that original link. Should be: http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2007/01/hitchens200701?currentPage=1 But a link back to the JFP could show this man funny.

Author

emilyb

Date

2006-12-28T13:46:38-06:00

ID

109631

Comment

Rarely does a columnist unzip his pants and wave it around at people, but I am not surprised that it is Christopher Hitchens doing so. This columns overruns with sneering contempt for women, and Hitchens has long overstayed his welcome in our country. Even apart from its ugliness, his argument is stupid--his joke about the placenta is not funny, in part, because placentas are made by babies, not women. His dismissal of female comics is asanine. And it's clear that his thesis--if we can call it that--is little more than an adolescent gag about fucking. And how he really likes to do it. And how laughter is the best panty-peeler around. Blech. I started hating Hitchens during the Clinton impeachment. People of good faith can disagree about that issue, but Hitchens said that leftists who said that Clinton's impeachment was wrong were being Trotskyites. He's always enjoyed shooting his mouth off, and here we see the same swaggering arrogance applied to a more trivial subject. But he has gone off the freaking deep end since he left the Nation. Did anyone see his relatively recent appearance on Real Time with Bill Maher? He was boorish, crude and completely, utterly UNFUNNY. And while I'm at it, Vanity Fair is a crappy, pretentious magazine.

Author

Brian C Johnson

Date

2006-12-28T14:28:11-06:00

ID

109632

Comment

Christopher Hitchens did a similarly idiotic piece a few weeks ago. This is the sort of thing women shouldn't even have to respond to; if these idiots were writing op-eds claiming that, say, African Americans weren't funny, then it'd cost them their jobs. Women are fair game for this kind of bigotry only because of the antifeminist backlash, and in a few decades I hope people will look back on stuff like this and wonder how the heck it made it into print. Cheers, TH

Author

Tom Head

Date

2006-12-28T14:29:58-06:00

ID

109633

Comment

Whoops. You are talking about the Hitch piece. Sorry; I didn't want to click on the link because I figured it might make my eyes bleed, and I just put on a clean shirt. Cheers, TH

Author

Tom Head

Date

2006-12-28T14:30:52-06:00

ID

109634

Comment

Well, I didn't know who he was until this piece. I'll trust y'all that he just plain sucks and needed to poke at funny women to get some publicity. Writing like that, it does make total sense. Bless his short, short cock.

Author

emilyb

Date

2006-12-28T15:17:25-06:00

ID

109635

Comment

Hitchens was once a respected leftist cultural critic, and he has done important work on Orwell and all the many reasons why Henry Kissinger ought to be indicted as a war criminal. But starting in the late '90s, he began to drift toward the right, which culminated in his break with the left in 2001. Essentially, he said that he had to quit the Nation because the left wanted to appease Islamic radicals. He was incredibly ugly on the subject. He was a long-time supporter of invading Iraq--unlike Bush, Hitchens always argued that we should do it to liberate the Iraqi people--but after 9/11, he essentially became a neo-conservative.

Author

Brian C Johnson

Date

2006-12-28T15:30:11-06:00

ID

109636

Comment

And yes, very short cock.

Author

Brian C Johnson

Date

2006-12-28T15:30:29-06:00

ID

109637

Comment

Hitchens is also known for writing an entire book about how much he hates Mother Teresa. Even as a leftist, he was a shock-value contrarian rather than a deep, substantive, or truly original thinker. "Short cock" is a pretty good summary of his career, I think. I do agree to a certain extent with the reaction some folks had to elements of the left post-9/11--I dropped out of most national leftist listservs, etc. shortly afterwards myself because of what I frankly saw as the celebration of American deaths, and the bizarre "Taliban sovereignty" movement (how can any nation that so grotesquely oppresses 51 percent of its population be called "sovereign"?)--but Hitch turned that reaction into an excuse to become a completely blind, knee-jerk neocon. I was a neocon for 24 hours. Hitch has been a neocon for over five years. It's getting old. Being the shock-value contrarian he is, I'm sure he'll disavow neoconservatism as soon as he finds another way to get attention--but to be honest, I stopped caring about Hitchens' beliefs when...well, to be honest, I never especially cared about Hitchens' beliefs. I don't think he's a bad guy by any stretch, but I take him about as seriously as I do Rush Limbaugh. Cheers, TH

Author

Tom Head

Date

2006-12-28T16:06:55-06:00

ID

109638

Comment

Yeah, he has to be really funny since I've never heard of him.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-12-28T16:32:52-06:00

ID

109639

Comment

That, my dear Ray, is because you are a Republican voter who does not read The Nation, The New Republic, The Atlantic Monthly, and The International Socialist Review as well as Mother Jones.

Author

Kingfish

Date

2006-12-28T17:14:09-06:00

ID

109640

Comment

What the heck are those publications for? I'm quite careful what I let in or out except for an accasional manish boy joke. King, before I become a republican I will eat feces and bark at the moon for years, and that would happen after all other DEMOCRATS have been rounded up and slaughtered. I'll look this fellow up to see if I saw him but didn't know who he wuz.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-12-28T17:22:46-06:00

ID

109641

Comment

You ARE the one who admits you vote Republican where you live. Too bad you've spent years in torment and one day you'll be buried in a nameless grave.

Author

Kingfish

Date

2006-12-28T17:29:33-06:00

ID

109642

Comment

Yeah, I've seen this fellow before on Bill Mayer's show and elsewhere. I shall find out what he believes in too. Don't worry King, I will die famously to those that matter. I didn't say voting republican was tormenting. I simply said it was scarring and dirty, and that is after only doing it occasionally or for a short period of time. I imagine it's tormenting when you've been doing it since the fifties or sixties for mostly a singular reason, purpose or cause. Yeah, booyy! Hope you had a Merry Christmas and will have a Happy New Year.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-12-28T17:39:53-06:00

ID

109643

Comment

For those who don't know, all officeholders in Ridgeland are republicans. Vote that way or not at all. My democratic conscious and debt compells me to vote.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-12-28T17:44:37-06:00

ID

109644

Comment

Hitch is a drunk. A witty drunk, but a drunk nevertheless. More importantly, he was back-ass wrong about Iraq, and now it seems he's trying to change the subject by picking another fight he's not going to win.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-28T17:47:50-06:00

ID

109645

Comment

'Fish, you're behind. Hitch has been a darling of neo-cons of late. And I love that Emily can say pussy on here, and I can't say a$$. Somebody find me a manager.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-28T17:49:18-06:00

ID

109646

Comment

Wait a frackin' minute. This thing censored me, ME, and not Emily. WTF?

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-12-28T17:49:58-06:00

ID

109647

Comment

A drunk. No wonder his demeanor reminded me of some of my relatives.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-12-28T17:51:13-06:00

ID

109648

Comment

I hope you're doing ok, King! Some of my best ... are republicans.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-12-28T18:02:01-06:00

ID

109649

Comment

I think pussy must be in the original post. I've gotten away with it before I believe. Please, oh please, don't take my pussy away!

Author

emilyb

Date

2006-12-28T18:33:18-06:00

ID

109650

Comment

Why do most men not object to a woman president? Because they wouldn't have to pay her as much! HAR HAR HAR! I used to like Vanity Fair. But I lean towards pretention in my worst moments.

Author

emilyb

Date

2006-12-28T18:50:33-06:00

ID

109651

Comment

the reason Ladd why you got censored is that a logic bomb has been inserted into the code of this site. Ray: You're too damn Black. Those were Ozzy lyrics.

Author

Kingfish

Date

2006-12-28T22:50:08-06:00

ID

109652

Comment

nothing like puthy control.

Author

Kingfish

Date

2006-12-28T22:51:09-06:00

ID

109653

Comment

King, I rarely mention race outside this board. I mention it every once in a while in court and elsewhere when appropriate. I'm around so many race-neutral people of all races that I don't even remember I'm black or others are white or other ethnicities most of the time. The many whites and other races of people I meet at conferences accross the country make up for what I occasionally encounter in Mississippi and the south. It teaches me what is possible and is on it's way here. I like you or I don't and race is never the measing stick or dividing line. The world needs people like me, Ironghost, you, Rico, Donna , Emily, Ali, Queen, LW, Ejeff, Tom, Knol, kate, Laurel, Todd and many more who aren't afraid to bring our peculiarities, cultures, differences, gender, race, religion, politics, and causes into focus, view and debate. I'm boldly holding up the bloodstained banner for the black sisters and brothers who can't do what I do, and I'm not blinded by prejudice, race, politic or sex. I'm imperfect but I'm evolving and helping others evolve. Some people will love me and some won't. Most of y'all would be shocked at how many do like me though. Remember King I can be your friend and brother without giving up who and what I am. If any assimilation is to take place it will be two ways - by both parties, or better yet - one way along the lines of shared goodness or benefits.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-12-29T10:42:17-06:00

ID

109654

Comment

I know Ray. I was making fun a little bit of your knowledge of Rap and Blues lyrics and lack of knowledge about heavy metal lyrics. all in good fun. You allowed to make fun of my not knowing rap or hip hop lyrics that well. ;-)

Author

Kingfish

Date

2006-12-29T10:49:36-06:00

ID

109655

Comment

I know you know King. That comment was mostly for people who can't see, appreciate, and understand my thoughtful ways and meanderings. I like it when people can finally say to me, "you ain't as crazy, racist, mean, angry, dumb, blind or hateful as I thought you were."

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-12-29T11:00:09-06:00

ID

109656

Comment

Ray, you make me realize how much I have missed everyone. I was out of town for Christmas. I did visit the JFP site once during the holiday and it made me feel so at home. Made me remember why I love Jackson so very much. My relative asked me, what do you like about Mississippi? Isn't there so much racism there? I had to bring up the great progressive blog community (and progressive community at large) that makes me feel I belong and I am helping to do something about the problems. Plus the fact Mississippians have a better sense of humor and help each other out more.

Author

Izzy

Date

2006-12-29T12:25:21-06:00

ID

109657

Comment

Welcome back, Laurel. We missed you. Something just wasn't right in your absence.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-12-29T14:57:30-06:00

ID

109658

Comment

thanks, Ray... :-)

Author

Izzy

Date

2006-12-30T14:07:01-06:00