Jackson Free Press

Ernest "Monday Night Football Head" Walker:

Picture this scene: You're at home in the dark without water, gas and telephone because you cannot afford to pay your utility bills. You seek help from your neighbor. But you also discover that he or she is in the same predicament. Frustration, desperation and depression stab at you like the prongs of a pitchfork—indeed, a sticky situation. You question your moment of suffering: Is a rich person's heaven a poor person's hell?

Volla! You recall—when you had electricity—listening to a commercial about the "Pork-N-Piggly I Cannot Pay My Utility Bill Survival Pack," during the Old Skool Pete Top 40 Southern Soul Electric Slide Music Review radio broadcast. You hear D.J. Old Skool Pete announce the P.N.P. Hott Shower and Hygiene Hospice—a B.Y.O.S.D.T. affair (bring your own soap, deodorant and towel). You remember the cable-television commercial promotion of P.N.P.'s "Clubb Laundry Soap and Washing Machine Party" and the "Make Groceries until the Next Paycheck 25 Dollar Gift Card."

Nevertheless, you continue to stare into darkness and despair and wonder why folk don't care.

My question to you: What are you waiting on? Come see the kind people of Pork-N-Piggly as they help you survive these times of economic sorrow. Remember: Those who endure to the end
shall be saved.

Look for the "Pork-N-Piggly I Cannot Pay My Utility Bill Survival Pack," coming in 2006.