Jackson Free Press

Before you read this: I have completely assumed that, if you are going to see "Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest," you're both aware that it is a sequel to "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl" and have already seen the first. That said …

"Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest" takes place a few months after the original movie left off. The plot centers on Jack Sparrow, which is to be expected, as he is the reason we all fell in love with the first film. The problem is that it's too focused on a main character that has so little dialogue it's almost pointless, but dialogue is often traded for special effects and fight scenes in order to wow today's already overly-wowed audiences.

Post-"Pirates," Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) is searching the Seven Seas for leverage to talk his way out of a life debt owed to the Poseidon-like pirate king of the sea, Davy Jones (Bill Nighy). Will Turner (Orlando Bloom) is sent to retrieve a magic compass from Jack by the East India Trading Company, so they will not execute him and his fiancée Elizabeth Swan (Keira Knightly) for helping Jack throughout the first movie.

Elizabeth, though still in love with Will, finds herself uncontrollably (and inexplicably) attracted to Jack Sparrow, to the point where she ignores all evidence to the fact that his honest streak seems to have run out.

The former Commodore Norrington (Jack Davenport) has fallen from grace and has become a lowlife drunk stumbling around Tortuga wondering how he could have sunk to a life that he despises. Apparently the few days head-start he gave Jack at the end of the first movie was enough to be considered aiding his escape as well.

I would better explain the plot line, but I have to say after twice sitting through this movie, the plot is so confusing and asinine that it makes summing it up in a comprehensible paragraph bloody impossible.

Sadly, everyone takes their performances over the top in a way that comes across as "You are going to see this movie regardless of how it is, so why should we take it seriously?" Depp is still classically entertaining as Sparrow, but he seems much more goofy than hardcore. Though this was part of his charm in the first film, he also seemed a lot more purpose-driven and involved in Pirates 1 than he is now in Pirates 2.

"Dead Man's Chest" is to "Curse of the Black Pearl" what the "Matrix: Reloaded" was to the original "Matrix:" Pirates 2 is a lot more action-centered than a compelling story, and ends on a moderately interesting cliffhanger with a didn't-see-that-coming moment before fading into credits. Sadly, it just doesn't live up to the greatness of the original.

I'm always a fan of a good swordfight, but every single action scene needed to either be five minutes shorter or cut from the movie altogether. For example, the last big throwdown of the film is between the crew of the Black Pearl and this gigantic octopus creature, which would have been a great climactic battle … if they hadn't shown the exact same thing halfway though the movie.

Everything about this movie looks spectacular, but it doesn't have the story or heart that the first one did. Wait until it comes out on DVD and rent it before the third comes out.