Learn English. Worship Britney. | Jackson Free Press | Jackson, MS

Learn English. Worship Britney.

Simply the title of this article should lead you to believe we are now headed towards the downfall of the Western world.

Bush to immigrants: Learn America's values

Wednesday, June 7, 2006; Posted: 11:43 a.m. EDT (15:43 GMT)

OMAHA, Nebraska (AP) -- President Bush stressed the need for immigrants to learn American values and culture if they are to become citizens, as he paid a visit Wednesday to this heartland state where the Hispanic population is on the rise.

Yes, Dear Little Mexicans, please refrain from paying yourself fair wages and refuse yourself medical care.

Previous Comments

ID
106186
Comment

Yes, American values. And what are those values? 1. Live off your parents. Bush would be an alcoholic real estate developer in Plano if his name wasn't Bush. Every business he ran, he ran right into the ground. Now he is doing the same for the U.S. I wish people had taken him seriously when he said he would be "the CEO president." One look at his resume and we would have hired anyone else. Recently, the Apaches asked Bush to help them get back the bones of their famous leader Geronimo. Apparently, a group of Yale student including Bush's great grandfather stole the bones, and they have since been used by the secretive fraternity Skull and Bones. God, Native Americans are so touchy. What's wrong with chugging beer out of a revered leader's skull? When Bush dies, we should give the Apaches his skull and call it even. 2. Worship Brittney, indeed. Only in a culture as f'ed up as this one could a vapid celebrity like Spears rise to stardom by selling her body and declaring her virginity. At least Madonna was a straight-up slut. Spears' entire persona is about fantasizing about your babysitter. Or have I missed something? 3. Lie about sex. Of course, Clinton lied about sex, but the culture lies about sex, as the example above illustrates. All of the hysteria over Janet Jackson's cyber-nipple. All of the Republicans who made pious speeches about Clinton while schtooping their own mistresses. Do you hear me, Mr. Hastert, Mr. Gingrich? 4. Live beyond your means. Public and private debt are now at their highest levels in more than 100 years. Just because you can't pay for something doesn't mean you should wait. That's true whether it's invading Iraq or buying designer jeans. 5. Have it both ways. The whole reason why immigrants come to this country is that there is work for them. The reason why there is work for them is that nobody wants the crappy jobs they do for absurdly crappy pay. You could end illegal immigration today with tougher sanctions and a much higher minimum wage. But why pay people more when you can pay Mexicans next to nothing and then make up all sorts of lies about how they are a drain on the rest of us? When you can criminalize them and threaten mass deportation? When you can lecture them about our values?

Author
Brian C Johnson
Date
2006-06-07T12:23:50-06:00
ID
106187
Comment

Was it Michael Eric Dyson or Cornel West who said that if Bush were black, he would be running a pawn shop in Crawford, Texas. Or something to that effect. LOL. ;-)

Author
DonnaLadd
Date
2006-06-07T12:36:35-06:00
ID
106188
Comment

I think everyone should list their favorite Slacker American Value. My favorite American value right now? Feeling free to quit a perfectly good job because it isn't personally fulfilling. While other people in other countries are working twenty hours a day in the hot sun moving ROCKS for pennies, or some such bullshit, in order to feed their family I am completely blase about quitting a steady paycheck with health benefits because I don't feel "fulfilled". Absolutely ridiculous. But, like I said, that's my favorite American value right now. ;)

Author
Lori G
Date
2006-06-08T08:50:49-06:00
ID
106189
Comment

Get realistic. English at this juncture is the dominant language of science, business, international travel and diplomacy. It was not always so. It used to be French. Before that Spanish,Latin, Greek etc. In the future it may be Chinese. English has, due to British Colonialism given India it's first national Language and allowed it to become one of the world's great Democracies. India sends "missionaries" of English through out the world to teach the language. Proper English is the passport to success and will remain so for the forseeable future. The values of American capitalism have created an economy that is a magnet to peoples throughout the world. It has allowed us to absorb 6-7 million workers from the economic basket case Mexico while still maintaining an unemployment rate below 5%. The principle issue in the Mexican presidential election is how can it can create an economy that will allow them to provide jobs and avoid going illegally to the US.

Author
pneville
Date
2006-06-10T08:56:42-06:00
ID
106190
Comment

Get realistic. English at this juncture is the dominant language of science, business, international travel and diplomacy. It was not always so. It used to be French. Before that Spanish,Latin, Greek etc. In the future it may be Chinese. It sounds to me that you want to try to make sure that doesn't happen. Why not just let the "market," so to speak, determine what the predominant language of business, or anything else, is, instead of trying to use the government to regulate it and tell what people what language they have to speak? This seems like intrusive government interference to me. Allow languages to evolve as the people want them to. And the "Proper English" thing isn't convincing. After all, how often has the view of "proper English" changed just in America's short history. Your point that these things change is a good one. Just relax a bit and carry that out to its logical conclusion, and you can how ridiculous it is for some Americans to try to push their version of "proper English" on the world. That's a waste of time and energy that could go into other entrepreneurial and creative pursuits. So, I agree: Get realistic. But don't have such a narrow view of what "realism" is.

Author
DonnaLadd
Date
2006-06-10T09:06:47-06:00
ID
106191
Comment

My favorite American Slacker Value is the one that allows women to marry men who make more money than they do, even though they work harder on any given week than the male. And the male admits that and thinks it's crap. Does that makes sense? And if so, can I believe I said it? And I've always been ashamed that we can't learn two languages when it's come so easily to others across the world. I can't pride myself in our ignorance. But I can say I don't have time for a new language right now because I'm working terribly hard to make it in a man's world.

Author
emilyb
Date
2006-06-10T09:32:37-06:00
ID
106192
Comment

My favoriate American Slacker Value are people who get into colleges where their daddy went and then complain about affirmative action for people without their connections. Does that qualify as a Slacker Value, Ali? Certainly seems to. As for languages, I agree, Emily. As Americans we are really limited due to our country's view that other languages aren't vital to our education. My little niece, who is half Mexican, has a nanny who only speaks Spanish. Another friend's grandkids are going to a spanish-speaking elementary school, although they're not Hispanic. I'm so jealous of this early attention to other cultures and languages. It is certainly missing in my own education. I tried to take Spanish while I was in grad school, but I had so many things going on that I couldn't concentrate on it (and then had to go to Florida to cover the election morass) so I dropped out of it. I really want to speak at leat basic Spanish, but I fear I'll never get around to it. All the xenophobia is so sad. Sure, a discussion about smart immigration policies is necessary, but with so much of it clouded both by racism and the need for a new wedge issue, it's just ugly to watch. And I feel so sorry for people who do not know how to step outside the paradigm that makes them fear other cultures so. I mean, it's the same crap we heard from the old Citizen's Councilors, but repackaged to try to get blacks on board, too. It's as if certain racists and/or demagogues just going around looking for a new group to land their fears on. This is where all the southern strategy energy will go when what needs to happens is an exorcism of the demon itself.

Author
DonnaLadd
Date
2006-06-10T10:11:21-06:00
ID
106193
Comment

YES! One more before I hit Belhaven Market: My favorite American Slacker Value is being pro-life and supporting crisis pregnancy centers that hand out medicaid apps like candy and then bitching about my tax dollars going to medicaid, but then not promoting anything but no-sex education classes, while our real live culture is celebrating media that oversexualizes our young women. Wow. That was like a weight of my chest.

Author
emilyb
Date
2006-06-10T10:29:52-06:00
ID
106194
Comment

Sorry, I'm late to the party, but GREAT comment, Emily. I won't even try to follow it up since I know I would only mud it down.

Author
eray
Date
2006-06-13T10:10:39-06:00

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