Jackson Free Press

I am a woman. I write about it all the time. The dating, the shoes, the makeup, the irrational bouts of temper and the complicated decisions. I often get teased about it. People I meet usually laugh at most of my statements, letting me know they are fully aware of what I am saying, but generally don't agree with it. It's the politeness of the South. I try not to care when this happens. I really try not to care when I know the dismissive act is preceded by the realization that I have boobs and wear perfume.

My mama once told me that, as a woman, just getting the opinion out of my mouth and letting it float in the air was half the battle. Someone choosing to pick it up and take it to heart is entirely their own decision. I won't say that the fact that I am often discounted because I am a girl doesn't hurt. It does hurt. It upsets me when I see it occurring, shames me for a small amount of time (which it is designed to do), but then makes me angry enough to get up and go at it again. I imagine this feeling is pretty common among most women.

This week I've been upset that I am afflicted with a vagina. Not for the usual reasons, but because the Mississippi Legislature is trying to decide that I can no longer choose what comes out of it. This is upsetting to me. I guess there are a lot of people who don't find it upsetting.

I can understand why. We are taught from birth that life is to be loved, cherished, protected at all costs. We are saving the whales, the dolphins, the eagles and the pandas. We are saving clean air, clean water and several thousand extremely dirty businessmen. We revere life. This is natural. We are frightened of death. This is natural as well.

I sometimes wish the debate for or against abortion wasn't fundamentally tied to the issue of protecting life. How could it not be, you say? Well, despite the fact we all should revere life, and despite the fact that we think all babies come straight from heaven, there is this idea that humans should be free to choose their own destiny. It was written once. Penned somewhere on this huge document hanging in Washington. There is a fundamental belief that the government's right to legislate should stop at its citizens' skin.

I stood back Monday morning, read the news about the House of Representatives passing the abortion ban, and my heart broke. It wasn't broken because I couldn't "run right out and get an abortion if I so chose." It was broken because I realized how far we have slipped. It was broken because I finally understood how bad things have become. My right to make my own medical decisions was being bandied about in the Capitol for fun, for politics; it was now the sacrificial lamb for those who would procure votes from the right-leaning population in this state.

My heart broke. My heart cried for this state, this state I have called home, this state in which I belong, as much as a man. I stopped in that one moment and realized, "This is what oppression feels like."

And I marveled. Because as sure as I know I have felt "oppression" before, I had stupidly assumed this battle was decided long ago. It was a battle fought by the women that came before me. A battle fought by our grandmothers and mothers.

This fight seems almost foreign to us 20 and 30 "somethings" who were generally raised believing the battle for most fundamental women's rights had been won years ago. They even wrote about it in our textbooks. They used words like "suffrage" and "oppression," words that we have come to equate with foreign nationals and minorities. In one moment on Monday morning, when I read the news, this came to mean women's rights in Mississippi.

This is what it feels like to be stomped on, rolled over and tossed around. I told myself to remember the feeling, to remember it every day and for as long as I possibly could. This feeling has led people to the streets, to rally, to fight, for years before me. And it will lead them to it for years afterward.

This is oppression.

I write this specifically in the "Chick Issue" because this is for us. It is for all of us, but even more so for those of us in our 20s and 30s who somehow find ourselves in uncharted territory. It is now that we finally must take interest in our government. As women, we have no choice but to uphold the work created by those who came before us. It is now our turn. It is time to stand for all the things we were taught to believe. To stand for women being equal, for women to enjoy a full and complete set of rights.

Being a woman is always difficult. Being the one expected to do everything and look cute while one does it isn't easy. It is even harder when we are shamed for simply fighting for things in which we believe. This week alone, only because I have been very vocal about my heartache concerning this decision, I have been called both a "tramp" and told that I have "absolutely no reverence for life." Neither of these slurs characterize the woman that is me, and both are simply designed to force the opinions I hold back into my mouth. My mama taught me better than that. She didn't raise a shrinking violet. She raised a steel magnolia.

Gloria Steinem once said: "Any woman who chooses to behave like a full human being should be warned that the armies of the status quo will treat her as something of a dirty joke. That's their natural and first weapon. She will need her sisterhood."

To the women of Mississippi I say, "It is time for the sisterhood."

To the status quo I say, "Bring. It. On."

Previous Comments

ID

71840

Comment

GO ALI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Author

Izzy

Date

2006-03-15T18:32:35-06:00

ID

71841

Comment

Yep. This one's an award-winner. Mark my words.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-03-15T18:39:36-06:00

ID

71842

Comment

Ali: This tendendecy for people to dismiss you "because you are a woman" is a subset of a general tendency that has become dominant in our culture. It hasn't always been this way: C.S. Lewis wrote about this as a burgeoning tendency back in the first part of the 20th century. It's basically the tendecy to shoot the messenger. Instead of considering the content of an argument, it is just dismissed because the person delivering the argument is a man/woman/black/white/conservative/liberal/buddhist/christian/ect. ect. ect. Of course, even though it hasn't been a GENERAL tendencey for all that long, women have faced this for most of history, and, according to your own testimony, still face it today. But I think it's a difference of degrees. I face it sometimes, believe it or not. Since I'm a white male, I don't face it as much. But I do get BECAUSE I am a white male at times. I guess I don't get what you get though, when people literally don't want you to HAVE an opinion. But I get plenty of opinions dismissed because of what I am. I have noticed that people often get uncomfortable if they don't quite know how to pigeonhole you. For example, if you have a political discussion, but you keep your own view close to the vest by asking questions from all sides of the issue, people don't know what to do with you. They don't know whether to dismiss or accept you because they don't know if you are the right political persuasion. Should I like this guy or hate him? Should I respect him or condescend to him? Anyway, I'm rambling. Very nice article. Since you know some of my opinions, you know I have some different ideas about some of these things. But it's still a well stated article. And, yes, I'm glad you expressed your opinion.

Author

GLB

Date

2006-03-15T19:29:17-06:00

ID

71843

Comment

GLB- You are the most eloquent rambler. Thank you. Laurel- Let's make t-shirts. I had a panic attack just thinking this thing was coming out today. But I got thru it. ;) Ladd-Thank you for the compliment. I can't begin to tell you how much I love to say "Bring It On". There is a deep satisfaction in reading that line. One that feels like I made a decision when I wrote it. I think I did.

Author

Lori G

Date

2006-03-15T20:01:55-06:00

ID

71844

Comment

Ali ok on the t-shirt or we could just go without a damn t-shirt. guys get to do it. even when I was 4 I knew that was unfair. you are right to rally the 20-30 something forces cause this country is devolving when it comes to women's rights.

Author

Izzy

Date

2006-03-15T21:33:11-06:00

ID

71845

Comment

Ali, I have to tell you that a warmth spread over me as I edited this column, then tears in your call to action, and my fist was in the air by the time I read the words: "Bring. It. On." Those may be my three favorite words I've ever published in the JFP. Bring. In. On. Indeed. Let's wrassle, cowboys.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-03-15T21:47:42-06:00

ID

71846

Comment

And the bra ad is something else. (Print edition, page 8.) Of course, I'm also pretty fond of the Melton blog ad this issue on page 9 -- but Melton is not trying to light a bright red bra while wearing a pink Barbie t-shirt. You've officially out-spectacled the expert, I'd day. Speaking of t-shirts, I just got in a box bright-green "I Get It Once A Week" t-shirts from Chane's shop. I'll give some away on the Lounge List tomorrow. But, Ali, you get one all your own for writing this wonderful column. BTW, I am going to officially ask you in public to Wannabe with the Queens. What do you say? It would be fabulously ironic, and then you could write something deliciously snarky about the whole experience. Feel free to reply offline. ;-)

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-03-15T21:51:41-06:00

ID

71847

Comment

Strong article, as usual, and I don't know what to say about it. I'll just be nosy and quiet and see what the ladies have to say. Maybe I'll learn something. As a partially crazy man, I will say what a joy it is that an afflcition is also a world renowned gift, and often a weapon, too. "The Lord is good and his wonders to adore." More power to the women!

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-03-16T12:20:42-06:00

ID

71848

Comment

I should have said "peerless weapon." I'm finsished after doing my usual running out!

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-03-16T12:36:28-06:00

ID

71849

Comment

Amen!! I'll just quote Ani Difranco cuz it takes me too long to put my thoughts into words: here's a toast to all those nurses and doctors who daily provide women with a choice who stand down a threat the size of oklahoma city just to listen to a young woman's voice -from "Self Evident" people, we are standing at ground zero of the feminist revolution yeah, it was an inside job stoic and sly one we're supposed to forget and downplay and deny but i think the time is nothing if not nigh to let the truth out coolest f-word ever deserves a fucking shout! i mean why can't all decent men and women call themselves feminists? out of respect for those who fought for this i mean, look around we have this -from "Grand Canyon"

Author

Gabie

Date

2006-03-16T16:56:05-06:00