Jackson Free Press

I found this article on the AAN site. It is an "Open Letter to Mississippians" written as an opinion column in the Memphis Flyer.

I thought it was an interesting follow-up speaking to what other states think about MS after the abortion ban. Its also horribly tongue in cheek...which makes me love it.

I stand with you, my fellow Mississippians, in your latest attempt to outlaw abortion. Abortion is a crime. It's a sin. It's murder and, as such, should be punished with a sentence of death.

But women are not alone in the slaughter of the innocent. Men are also guilty of a crime just as great: masturbation. Some say that the loss of one spermatozoan here or there is the loss of but half a life; still, it is a life "half lost," a prenascent individual half-murdered.

And so I propose a stiff sentence: life imprisonment, without the hope of parole -- or even the comfort of solitary confinement -- for any such hardened criminal whose turgid mind leads him to commit this disgusting, lethal, and entirely antisocial act. No holds barred. [...]

Studies conducted by the Center for the Understanding of Our National Tragedy have shown that 98.5 percent of all males under the age of 110 indulge in this primitive behavior -- a practice that has reared its ugly head even at the highest levels of the corporate world. (How many times have people been told they could not talk with a CEO because the executive was "in a meeting"?) [...]

As a civilized society -- and particularly as males -- we owe it to ourselves to get a grip on the problem before it becomes too big to handle. [...]

And so, I call on Governor Haley Barbour -- who, more than anyone else, has his hand on the pulse of this throbbing issue -- to, please, before he makes that final stroke with his pen, consider, in the name of all that is fair and just, writing into law the criminalization of male masturbation as a vital part of this important, timely anti-abortion bill soon to be presented to him for his signature -- before the opposition can blow it all out of proportion.Sincerely,

John Pritchard Sr.

It is decisions like the abortion ban that make people see Mississippi as the haven for ignorance and "-isms" they have always presumed it to be.

What people don't understand is that this then affects our ability to lure businesses, new residents, basically anything that would help this state financially.

People should think about this more before making stupid decisions. (Yes, I'm still angry about this)

Previous Comments

ID

105273

Comment

Yowza.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-03-16T10:53:55-06:00

ID

105274

Comment

You and me both sister. A sad state indeed.... I think what irritates me the most is the idea of a bunch of MEN (because let's face it, they are the majority in these decisions) deciding what I should do with my body. When they could not ever have one inkling of an idea what it is like. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! And I personally would not have an abortion myself but I believe in the choice if I should decide it was best for me.

Author

tiffitch

Date

2006-03-16T11:14:33-06:00

ID

105275

Comment

Damn, did I piss Memphis off too?

Author

JAC

Date

2006-03-17T15:05:00-06:00

ID

105276

Comment

“I just threw the snake out there, and it crawled around and got slung around pretty good, and this bill was what we got.” -- Rep. Steve Holland. But was he (a) trying to explain why he proposed an abortion ban or (b) opening himself up to prosecution under the legislation suggested in the above letter? Only his hairdresser (and the person who washes his sheets) knows for sure. I remember when I looked at the 94-25 vote, about half of the 25 were women. And there aren't all that many women in the state House of Representatives. Right now I'm working on a little piece for my civil liberties site on the difference between a legitimate pro-life position and an obviously phony pro-life position. And I have several state representatives in mind as I write it. Cheers, TH

Author

Tom Head

Date

2006-03-17T15:45:05-06:00

ID

105277

Comment

If you're looking to place Mississippi on the top of a list, few if any that we grace, then give us a great big number one. The thing that will hurt not only this state but our country is the fact that we are one of the only nations that ties some sort of moral issue in with abortion. This not only ties up our legislators both statewide and nationwide with table issues to help credit or discredit on the campaign trail, but it also limits the kinds of research into future technologies such as stem cell research. In the future, we are going to have to borrow that cure for AIDS or cancer and I'm not sure if American ego is ready for all of that. Joycelyn Elders fought to help incorporate masturbation into sexual education. This eventually led to early retirement for Dr. Elders as the country's first African-American Surgeon General. In an age where fourth graders are being taught by trannys, I'm sure this can't be too explicit. The idea was radical but if more males decided to relieve themselves via masturbation then maybe that would prevent one more spread of the AIDS virus or other sexually transmitted diseases. These ideas may fly over better in places like Africa or Brazil where there is desperation for immediate solutions to these pandemics.

Author

Skinnyp

Date

2006-03-19T22:14:27-06:00