Jackson Free Press

This one's for whatever chick-related item is on your mind. And, yes, guys (or, at the least the ones who respect chicks) can post here, too. (Tom?)

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Gloria Steinem's talking at MSU on Tuesday, so this is really good timing. You know, I was thinking the other day about a blog entry a very articulate, liberal, and well-educated net.buddy of mine from New England posted the other day about how he was scared progressive men were being neutered, and one day he'd look back on it all and be "too much of a woman to care" (his words, not mine). The post really surprised me because most of the time he's a feminist. I guess it got a little too close to home. My response to his post--which he actually deleted, to my great surprise--pointed out that the whole point of second-wave feminism was basically about letting women break into traditionally masculine roles. Rosie the Riveter. "Sisters are doing it for themselves." Political clout. Holding their own in political or religious arguments. Getting the M.D., J.D., or M.Div. Taking their proper role in the masculine order of things. And so what I told him was that what I think he's reacting to is third-wave feminism--that society is changing now, that the strengths of women are being acknowledged in enlightened sectors, and men do find that they have a harder time getting ahead in those sectors without feminizing, and that this is exactly as it should be. And that it was poor form for his generation of men to complain about the feminization of men when we still live in a culture where women have to act like men to get ahead. Here again, he ignored--and then deleted--my post. (I know it was once there because someone else, a female poster, gave it a brief thumbs-up and her endorsement is still in his comments field.) And I thought that was so weird. And it makes me wonder if gestures of solidarity like this one, Chick this and Women's that, really should exclude liberal men, even including me, because there is this very real disease called institutional sexism and any man who thinks his case will never flare up is living in denial.

Tom Head

Mar 18 2006

Anyway, all this got me thinking about what feminine virtues are. You know, we whale into the Democratic Party an awful lot, and it deserves it most of the time, but the more traditional critiques of liberalism that have historically been thrown at the Democrats--"irrational," "wishy washy," "bleeding heart," and so forth--are just echoes of criticisms that used to be made of women, talking about why they shouldn't lead. And when Howard Dean made his unfairly criticized but still (IMHO) flawed remark about trying to get the vote of the man with a Confederate flag in the back of his pickup truck, I wonder if he was saying he thought the party had to get more masculine in order to succeed. I wonder if we're witnessing a nascent Nutsack Progressives movement. So my meditation for women's history month is to look at the virtues I really value and ask to what extent the rest of this world appreciates them. To ask what feminine morality is--ethics in the company of women--and to see what we can do to promote that morality. Because I think the real moral crisis people are experiencing now isn't the twilight of doctrinal religion, or the twilight of patriotism, or even the twilight of provincialism. I think the moral crisis people are experiencing all over the world right now is the twilight of traditional masculine virtue. In a world that needs healers, not warriors, the old model of how to be a good person is becoming obsolete--and while there are some aspects of "masculine" virtue that are worth keeping, such as courage and rationality, the truth is that women have always had both in spades. So the world is really kind of slowly phasing out manliness as we know it, and I think that's a large part of what makes people suddenly obsess over things like the secular West, and the "sanctity of marriage," and the "naked public square." Slowly but surely, The Man is becoming obsolete. And I think that kind of change scares a lot of people. Cheers, TH

Tom Head

Mar 18 2006

I'm here. Cluck, cluck. Just thought about something. A few moths ago, I took this "Are You More Masculine or Feminine" quiz at tickle.com. The results: I'm more masculine. Who, me? I mean, I watch the Super Bowl, but I don't watch the other football games. I like fixing things, but I don't own a table saw...yet. So what if I spent Monday evening replacing the sink faucet in the bathroom? So what if I couldn't care less what Jessica Simpson is wearing? So what if I played with Barbie dolls and Tonka trucks at the same time? Well, maybe I have some masculine traits, but I think I'm feminine enough. Enough to enjoy metallic high heels. Enough to have a thing for anything teal. Enough to crack open that pack of Stayfree every month. Okay, too much information...

LatashaWillis

Mar 18 2006

I turned up 53.85% feminine in this quiz, but a few of the questions are incredibly stupid. The only gender role test I really trust is the Bem Sex Role Inventory, and even then I trust it a lot more when the subject doesn't know s/he's taking a gender role test. I'm something of a ringer because I know how the BSRI is scored, but when I took it a a teenager I turned up as androgynous--almost exactly 50/50--leaning slightly male. Let's see what I show up as now, with the understanding that these aren't going to be ironclad results because I know too doggone much about the test... *clickety-click-click* Well, this is interesting. This version of the test has 30 questions instead of the usual 60, and a 1-4 scale instead of a 1-7 scale. Let's try the real version first. *clickety-click-click* The full version of the test (available here)--pen and paper, so be sure you have your calculator app handy--rates me as a 4.7 in masculinity, a 4.75 in femininity, and a 5.4 in androgyny, which sounds about right. Now let's try the pint-sized version. *clickety-click-click* Well, that one gave me score of 70:53 feminine. Not sure I trust those results, but season to taste. I, too, played with both dolls and Tonka trucks--though as I got older, both gave way to Star Wars and G.I. Joe figures, He-Man, Silverhawk, Thundercats, Braveheart. By 13 I was watching pro wrestling twice a week with my father, but it was the only "sport" (if you can call oiled-up men in spandex pretending to wrestle each other a sport) I had much interest in. Then I got bored with it. At about 14 I had a minor crisis of identity, and spent a large part of one winter wondering if I was gay. Figured out I probably wasn't. (That was the same winter where I spent six weeks wondering if I was an atheist, so don't read too much into that, folks.) After my parents split, I got more comfortably androgynous. Not gonna have sexual reassignment surgery or anything, but it sure was nice when I reached the point in life where I didn't feel like I had to prove I was a man anymore. Cheers, TH

Tom Head

Mar 18 2006

But this is not the Dude Thread, so the more interesting question for me is: How do y'all score? And what do you think of "feminine virtues" versus "masculine virtues"? Cheers, TH

Tom Head

Mar 18 2006

On that Bem one... You scored 30 masculinity and 73 femininity I say this is true for me. I am a girlie girl. I don't always dress the part (since I have 2 small children to deal with), but I am pretty stereotypical, unathletic and very artsy/moody/sensitive. LOL!

Heather

Mar 19 2006

Mississippi women need to wake up--it seems most women get around to children, some southen women think is is our ultimate purpose in life - bearing children (except for the few that seem to actually have a life long career)...... but then we don't even support laws to feed and educate those children -- how does that seem to work for the future ??? Over 40% of the families affected by katrina are single head households that were living on the edge- so what now??? We need to get serious about child support-- or either we can let the state pay for all our children???

dyowell

Mar 22 2006

We DO need to get serious about child support. And we need to let go of the stereotype that it's just "thug" men who don't pay child support. Remember those doctors on the dhs billboards? I'm thinking it's more often than we know. Take it from a woman NOT getting child support while her ex is living in a ginormous new home in Brandon.

emilyb

Mar 22 2006

Thank you Emily. My husband has never even been late on a CS payment, and yet the X still get to be completely in control of everything just b/c she is female. Not fair. Daddies have rights too. My husband is an AWESOME father. I agree that the ones who aren't paying should be made to pay (men AND women), but I also think we need to take a serious look at how much etc... Let's face it, the whole system needs an overhaul.

Heather

Mar 22 2006

To keep Tom from being the single male commenting, let me jump in for a second. I just want to compliment y'all on doing so many wonderful things and, for the most part, keep a good attitude despite the world you find yourselves in. I have never seen in you the anger we possess. It seems you are more forgivng than we are. One of the things I admire most about you though is your ability to ignore or shake off uncomfortable things, people and matters. We fellows may never learn this skill. I don't know how you got it but you got a good thing.

Ray Carter

Mar 22 2006

I finally got around to taking the BSRI (short version), and here's what it says: Feminine You scored 40 masculinity and 56 femininity! You scored high on femininity and low on masculinity. You have a traditionally feminine personality. My test tracked 2 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 7% on masculinity You scored higher than 39% on femininity Well, isn't that special? :-P

LatashaWillis

Apr 18 2006

Figured the Chick Blog was the best place for this...My co-worker had a scary incident yesterday that we should all be on the look out for. These are her words: I was on my way to class at JSU. I crossed over the train tracks where Bailey turns into Gallatin. Out of nowhere a white car with flashing lights and a siren was behind me. I pulled over at the next available opening (Gallatin and Shreveport). The white car pulled in behind me and then out of nowhere another car pulled in front of me, blocking me in (slantwise). Two men approached me, I rolled down the window and asked what I did. One man said "you're driving with a Louisiana tag". I said yes. He said "are you from Louisiana, how long have you been here, do you live here, do you work here and where". I said I now live in MS since the hurricane and work for ___. I gave him my liscense (which has my social security # on it). The two men stood there mumbling and laughing while holding my liscense. A woman in a car passed by looking at what was going on then the man gave me my liscense back and said you can go now. Then they got back in the cars and sped off. This happened at 5:35 pm- broad daylight. Two of the men where in a white Honda prelude with blue flashing lights and a siren. The other man was in a dark colored sedan. The two men who got out of the cars had on black shirts and had guns tucked into the front of their pants (no holster). I reported this incident to JPD and was informed that there was nothing they can do because I didn't get the tag number.

urbangypsy

Apr 19 2006

again- this isn't an email prank. This chick works with me and was still visibly shaken this morning. I know you can buy sirens and lights on ebay but wow. JPD is going to take an official report but just wanted people to be aware.

urbangypsy

Apr 19 2006

Thanks for sharing that. Whenever someone who appears to be a cop pulls up behind you or if you think you are being followed, always stop at a public place like a gas station, grocery store parking lot, etc. Also, your friend should replace her license with one that has an assigned driver's license number instead of her SSN. The guy that looked at her license could have memorized her number, so I suggest that she call the credit bureaus and have an alert put on her records.

LatashaWillis

Apr 19 2006