Jackson Free Press

"It's Boneqweesha, live from the Million Motorist March and Car Pool on Washington, D.C. Millions of financially challenged motorists are scheduled to arrive at the nation's capital to protest rising gasoline prices. Attendance is low right now because a small group of marchers have arrived on foot, and car poolers continue to drive at low speeds or end up stranded on the highways. Momma Church Hat has a bird's-eye view from the Praise-the-Lawd-O-Copter."

Momma Church Hat: "Broken-down hoopties clog highway exit ramps stopping cars and delivery trucks from getting to gas stations. Enraged S.U.V. motorists retaliate by side-swiping protesters' slow-moving vehicles. Thousands of stranded motorists eat everything at restaurants, lounge at truck stops and occupy rest stops. And, you know, the bathrooms are a nasty mess.

"Lawd, have mercy! This looks like a scene from the movie 'Road Warrior.' Oh well, the Praise-the-Lawd-O-Copter is running out of gas. I gotta find a good place to land. Back to you, Boneqweesha! "

Boneqweesha: "I'm here with Grandma Pookie, one of the coordinators of this event. What's up, Grandma?"

Grandma Pookie: "Baby, price-gouged gasoline has plagued our nation. Old folk can't drive to church, and poor folk can't drive to work. Financially challenged motorists want the government to realize that economically limiting the poor is like an accident waiting to happen. Just ask those migrant workers."

Boneqweesha: "Oil companies, the poor folk say, 'The price of gasoline is not right; so come on down!'"