Jackson Free Press

Broth Hustle: "Greetings, bootleg satellite dish owners! The Ghetto Science Team's telecommunications division and I have joined to provide poor folk with a new listening experience called the Broth Hustle Underground Satellite Radio Network. When the skies are clear (or your satellite dish is unobstructed by debris from your neighbors' yard or subdivision apartment), listen to high-fidelity programming such as music, news, public affairs, sports, weather, etc.

"The weekday program line-up features the 'Rev. Cletus Car Sales Praise Aerobics Exercise Hour,' 'Boneqweesha's News Brief and Makeover Show,' 'Still Bill the Funk Doctor's Old School Express,' 'Juicy-Juice for the Kids Hour' and 'Low Riders' Afternoon Drive with D.J. M-Dog.'

"And don't forget the evening programming featuring call-in shows like the 'McBride Family's Law, Finance and Health Show,' 'Politics at Sundown with Grandma Pookie' and the popular late-night show called 'DJ Please Pick Up the Phone I'm on the Request Line Round Midnight Mello Mix.'

"Everyone loves our weekend programming featuring 'Electric Slide 2006: Clubb Chicken Wing Live,' 'Earnest "Monday Night Football Head" Walker Sports' wrap-up and the re-broadcast of 'Sunday Night Bingo.'

"Also, for a small service fee, Aunt Tee-Tee, Lil' Hustle and I will provide satellite maintenance and technical assistance.

"Remember: Poor folks need to be properly informed, educated and entertained before they end up like people chained up in a cave. For more information about my satellite radio network service, call 1-800-HOOK U UP."