Dr. Silas P. Rathbone III: "It's a defining moment in Ghetto Science history. Two of our finest will embark on a journey where very few in the ghetto have gone before.
"Therefore, I, Dr. Silas P. Rathbone III of the Get-Out-of-the-Ghetto-and-Go-to-Work Program, am proud to announce that Lil' Sista Church Hat and Tiny 'Lil Bitt' will work at the new Truly Suburban Yall-Mart approximately 80 miles outside the ghetto.
"I compare their incumbent odyssey to the Apollo 11 landing on the moon. Imagine being thrust into a new environment called retail, a new universe of rapidly moving bodies pushing shopping carts full of low-priced items.
"During their first three months of employment, Lil' Sista Church Hat and Tiny 'Lil' Bitt might work 12-hour shifts five days a week.
"My hope for them is that they will secure management positions to change policies, improve the work environment and hire more workers from the ghetto. I guess a minimum-wage job is better than no job.
"Special thanks goes to Rev. Cletus for volunteering his church bus to drive Lil Sista and Tiny to and from work. At precisely 06:30:30 a.m. (Eastern Standard Time) the faculty and staff of the Get-Out-of-the-Ghetto-and-Go-to-Work Program will help launch the Double Dutch Church Bus in three, two, one.
"Ignition and lift off! That's one small step for Lil' Sista and Tiny, one long commute to Yall-Mart."
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