Jackson Free Press

Dr. Silas P. Rathbone III: "It's a defining moment in Ghetto Science history. Two of our finest will embark on a journey where very few in the ghetto have gone before.

"Therefore, I, Dr. Silas P. Rathbone III of the Get-Out-of-the-Ghetto-and-Go-to-Work Program, am proud to announce that Lil' Sista Church Hat and Tiny 'Lil Bitt' will work at the new Truly Suburban Yall-Mart approximately 80 miles outside the ghetto.

"I compare their incumbent odyssey to the Apollo 11 landing on the moon. Imagine being thrust into a new environment called retail, a new universe of rapidly moving bodies pushing shopping carts full of low-priced items.

"During their first three months of employment, Lil' Sista Church Hat and Tiny 'Lil' Bitt might work 12-hour shifts five days a week.

"My hope for them is that they will secure management positions to change policies, improve the work environment and hire more workers from the ghetto. I guess a minimum-wage job is better than no job.

"Special thanks goes to Rev. Cletus for volunteering his church bus to drive Lil Sista and Tiny to and from work. At precisely 06:30:30 a.m. (Eastern Standard Time) the faculty and staff of the Get-Out-of-the-Ghetto-and-Go-to-Work Program will help launch the Double Dutch Church Bus in three, two, one.

"Ignition and lift off! That's one small step for Lil' Sista and Tiny, one long commute to Yall-Mart."

Previous Comments

ID

73818

Comment

I have to say that this is one of my favorite Stiggers of all time.

Author

Brian C Johnson

Date

2006-10-19T12:15:03-06:00

ID

73819

Comment

Ken, you've outdone yourself once again. Great work!

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2006-10-19T13:10:32-06:00

ID

73820

Comment

Yall-Mart, indeed. This is definitely one of your best, Ken. And you've set the bar very, very high already.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2006-10-20T17:32:06-06:00

ID

73821

Comment

Man, you are amazing. "A boy is born in hard time mississippi. Surrounded by four walls that ain't so pretty. His parents give him love and affection. To keep him strong and moving in the right direction. His father works some days for 14 hours. And you can bet be barely makes a dollar. His mother goes to scrub the floors for many. And you can bet she barely makes a penny. Living just enough, just enough for the city." Steveland Morris aka Stevie Wonder.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2006-10-25T12:31:07-06:00