Jackson Free Press

For the past six months, I've been working in Hattiesburg, mainly because the job offer included enough money to allow me to embroider gold dollar signs on my socks right alongside my initials—righteous money. Following this money soon led me to understand that working in Hattiesburg actually meant commuting to Hattiesburg for the duration of the employment.

Damn, how'd I miss that part? I usually exhibit more proficiency in logical thought processes than this. Or rather, I'm great at logical thought, but a bit rusty in the logistics department. Logical thought for me means "yes" always follows the statement: "We will pay you lots and lots of money." It's logical to assume I'd take to the idea of large monetary compensation like gin to tonic. The logistics of decisions often cause me problems. Some people refer to "skill with logistics" as having your feet on the ground. I'm usually only tenuously tethered to the Earth by the weight of my dreams.

I'm the Big Idea Woman. I hate to admit this, but I'm a little like Frank Melton in that way. You know, like deciding to end crime. That's a totally cool idea, right? I'd be all over that one myself. I just never seem to get to the part where I set up a plan to end crime—much like my other plans for curing cancer, getting a federal ban on publishing pictures of Paris Hilton, and making sure that all good little boys and girls get a sleepover from Frank on Christmas night. I mean, all those things sound good and logical, right? For some reason, I just can't follow up on my Big Ideas with logistical plans.

This non-follow-through affects all areas of my life. Not long ago I decided to buy a refrigerator. I never really thought about what would come next after I purchased the fridge at the store. I assumed that magic refrigerator leprechauns would show up to carry the fridge to my house. In fact, if you were to interrupt me in the middle of having a "logical thought" about buying a fridge with the actual logistics of buying the fridge, I would berate you for your lower mental acuity. Because the fridge should just float into the damn house. As far as I am concerned, if I think about it hard enough, the sheer force of my bull-headedness will make this occur spontaneously. This is a typical day with my logistical planning skills. Do you see why I feel a sort of kismet connection to Frank?

Unfortunately, this same logistically challenged decision-making caused five months of three-hour daily commutes to the Hub City and one of the most stressful jobs I've ever held. During every day of those five months, I thought about the million tiny decisions that brought me there. I like to think of those five months as my "St. Dominic's Time," when I started rethinking being a Big Idea Woman. I started thinking that sometimes the Big Idea doesn't turn out to be the best idea. After all this, I finally started thinking that maybe I really needed to get better at the logistical part of my life. Then, I made a plan.

My mom says this whole "logistics" thing is an important lesson for anyone to learn and that I should be thankful. My mother is very, very good at logistics. When I was younger, she had logistics on how to load the dishwasher, do laundry and wipe your nose. This woman has a written plan for everything. If meteors fell to the Earth ending civilization as we know it, forcing humankind into the jungle to survive based only upon their individual knowledge of wild plant life, someone should immediately locate my mother. I promise she has a plan for this very scenario.

Then I started thinking that maybe Frank needed to speak with my mother. "Making plans" certainly isn't really sexy or flamboyant, but it does get the noses wiped, the laundry clean and the fridges home.

I think Frank could use some lessons keeping his nose and laundry clean. Couldn't hurt, right? After all, look at what all that "planning" did for me. I'm back in Jackson. I own a new refrigerator that is actually inside my house. I'm enjoying a brand new day planner and a much shorter commute to work. This whole "planning thing" is really awesome. Thanks, mom.

I like having Big Ideas as much as the next gal. But I also know that part of being a logical and functional adult means finding out what one wants to do and completing the steps required to get to that point. I know that Frank likes to have Big Ideas, too. In fact, I kind of "get" Frank because I enjoy my daydreaming about the Big Idea just as much as he. I enjoy dreaming of a Jackson without crime. But I think it's time that we actually hired someone who is able to logistically take us there.

I would ask my mom, but she's busy.

Previous Comments

ID

74723

Comment

Following this money soon led me to understand that working in Hattiesburg actually meant commuting to Hattiesburg for the duration of the employment. Child, I don't see how you did it. How much gas money did you cough up during those six months? I hate to think that you were basically shoving your paycheck into the fuel tank. My younger sister is ambitious like that. She once considered a job offer on the coast, but she lives in Byram. That may have been just desperation, but she can barely get anywhere on time in the Metro area, especially with two kids (her 5-year-old daughter and her 30-year-old husband).

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-04-05T08:25:16-06:00

ID

74724

Comment

L.W. Weekly gas allowance: 120$ Daily wake up time: 4:30am New wrinkles on my face: 4 As sad as this is...it was the wrinkles that made me quit. I may give up some sleep, but I'll be damn if I'm going to take wrinkles lying down. :)

Author

Lori G

Date

2007-04-07T08:40:02-06:00

ID

74725

Comment

listening to lorig whine: Priceless.

Author

Kingfish

Date

2007-04-07T09:05:48-06:00

ID

74726

Comment

$2400 for a cheap lesson in thinking ahead. Wonder what price Jackson will pay after Frank leaves it in ruins?

Author

Ironghost

Date

2007-04-07T09:16:56-06:00

ID

74727

Comment

Lord. Everything seems to get roped back to Melton somehow on here. LOL.

Author

Ole Miss Alum

Date

2007-04-07T12:12:39-06:00

ID

74728

Comment

We're just that good, OMA. We can blame anything on him. :)

Author

Ironghost

Date

2007-04-07T12:17:11-06:00