Jackson Free Press

Pookie Peterz: "Welcome to the Ghetto Science Economic Summit for Unemployed Folk Forced into Entrepreneurship. Tonight, Rudy McBride of the Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank presents the Residual Income Initiative: a new perspective into overcoming joblessness."

Rudy McBride: "Picture yourself unemployed for six months and staying with a relative who gives you an ultimatum: 'Find a job and apartment or get out!' But you are an obsolete, unskilled worker trapped in a world of hiring freezes. And now you have become a discouraged and frustrated mass of human potential who has worn out his or her welcome with relatives and friends.

"Look into the horizon of hope and gain a new perspective by participating in the Residual Income Initiative. It's a straight path toward becoming a productive individual, courtesy of the Brotha Hustle Juicy Juice on Ice Product Distribution and Franchise Program. Brotha Hustle says, 'When life gives you lemons, get a cooler, a bag of ice, two 12-packs of Juicy-Juice, and make some money!'

"The path might lead you to a lucrative career in information technology. Let Aunt Tee Tee's Technical Institute teach you how to build, program and network computers. Also, master various software programs.

"Funding for the Residual Income Initiative is provided by the L.M.H.F.D. National Bank.

"Remember: in a greedy and cold society, it's all about money; ain't a darn thing funny. You got to have a job here in this land of milk and honey."