Jackson Free Press

Boneqweesha Jones: "Welcome to the Hair-Did University School of Cosmetology's Summer Lecture Series, at the Club Chicken Wing Multi-Purpose Community Development Complex. The guest speaker is Dr. Otis 'Nickel-N-Dime' Wilson of the Ghetto Science Team's Economic Development Council."

Dr. Otis: "Distinguished members of the financially challenged community, I'm here to share with you a new economic theory based on Sir Isaac Newton's third law of motion and events occurring over the past seven years. Unknowingly, we experience this theory in the form of increased gasoline prices that proportionately and adversely affect the cost of living for financially challenged individuals. This theory-in-action produces abusive environments in communities, workplaces and homes, when people experience catastrophic events in their lives and require financial assistance. Two words bring to mind a prime example of this theory: Hurricane Katrina. Also, the people who practice this theory range from the rich to the needy who become very greedy.

"Within the next two years, the minimum wage will increase. This is good. But remember, my people: For every action, there will be a reaction from individuals who want to create more dissatisfaction among the masses. In other words, the more money you make, the more dollars they will get from you. My brothers and sisters, this is the theory of gougenomics!"

Boneqweesha Jones: "Thank you, Dr. Otis.

"Next week, our guest speakers are Inspector 'Beat-down' Lipscomb and McScruffie, The Crime Watch Dawg. They will be talking about the new My Dog Bites Ass (M.D.B.A.) Home Security System."