Jackson Free Press

Kunta 'Rahsheed X' Toby: "Welcome to the Bootleg Underground Ghetto Independent Film Festival's 'Pitch a Film Idea' session. You have three minutes to pitch your film idea to me."

Indy Filmmaker: "A spaceship lands in the front yard of a house located in a suburb of Texas. Two brothers from another planet, Cornbread and Earl, exit the ship and beam themselves inside the house. Across the street, a concerned neighbor named Bubba Charles Bronson witnesses the suspicious activity. The brothers from another planet beam in and out of the house—like Kirk and Spock do on Star Trek—and carry valuable items to the spaceship.

"The concerned neighbor calls 'Rescue 911 Is A Joke' and gets dispatcher Flava Flav. Flav assures the distressed neighbor, saying, 'Yo, gee, five-O is on the way. Stay in the crib (street slang for house) and be cool, aight.'

"The frustrated neighbor grabs his shotgun, autographed by Dick Cheney, and tells Flav that he's going to kill 'em (the brothers). The neighbor fires three shots. Dispatcher Flav screams, 'Yo, Gee! You killed Cornbread and Earl.'

At this point, I haven't figured out the resolution, and I'm torn between three titles for the movie.

Kunta 'Rahsheed X' Toby: "I'm scared. Give me the possible titles of your film."

Indy Filmmaker: "'Death Wish '07 Texas Style: Two Wrongs Don't Make a Right'; 'Star Trek 5 and 2/8ths: The Wrath of Bubba,' or 'Kill 'em First, Questions and Consequences Later.'"