Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcement: "He's faster than a job outsourced overseas, more powerful than a mass firing, able to leap over a crowd of disgruntled, downsized middle-class workers in a single bound. Look, in the board room! It's a callous CEO! It's a pink slip! No, it's Captain Cutback and his sidekick Price Gouger.

"Today's story takes place in the board room of Crunchie Burga World, where board members and the CEO decide the fate of employees at C.B.W. franchises located in the ghetto.

Board Executive: "Board members, the future of Crunchie Burga World has come to a fork in the road: Should we put people out on the street and cut back on labor and franchise costs, or should we deal with paying workman's compensation, insurance benefits, overtime and comp time in tough times?"

Board Member No. 1: "How will we recuperate the monies invested in the closed C.B.W. buildings?"

Concerned Board Member: "And what about the laid-off employees?"

Captain Cutback and Price Gouger enter the boardroom.

Captain Cutback: "There's no need to fear! Price Gouger and I are here to encourage the board to do what is necessary for the company. Just cut back and price gouge—it has become the American way! People who lose their jobs can find another one. There are plenty of graveyard-shift cashier and product-stock jobs at local Y'all Marts, convenience stores, truck stops, etc."

Price Gouger: "Captain Cutback, we have to cut this meeting short. Later, CEO!"

Previous Comments

ID

75054

Comment

An inside look into the ruthtless corporate world...

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-07-06T08:11:33-06:00

ID

75055

Comment

I'm trying to stay out of Y'all Mart. I go in there for some batteries only then see all those other things on sale. My money just jumps out of my pocket, and by the time I leave, I'm poor, and singing the Donnie Hathaway song, the "Ghetto."

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2007-07-11T10:27:08-06:00