Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcement: "Welcome to 'Planting Seeds of Thought' with Rev. Vegan of the Vegetarian Church International. This program is brought to you by Scooter Libby's Freedom Juice: If it says 'Libby' on the label, you're pardoned and free to go! Ghetto Science Radio presents the vegetarian preacher, Rev. I.M. Vegan."

Rev. Vegan: "What is God trying to tell us? I ask this question because I reflect on past revelations of pestilence and famine. I ask because honey bees are affected by cell phone technology. I ask because our pets die after we feed them. I ask because we have not had a good rain shower since April. I ask because our gardens suffer from drought. Now questions arise regarding what type of fertilizer is used in overseas gardens that supplement our food supply. And who laces or seasons French fries with sugar? All I can say is 'O.G.K.' (Only God Knows).

"Nevertheless, the Vegetarian Church International and I will continue to be the crying voice in the wilderness. We will caution the masses about the corrupted food supply through monthly and annual conferences, along with thought-provoking messages and catchy clichés like these: 'The Pork-N-Pig and Cow-N-Meat may not be good for you to eat'; 'If there is something wrong with the cow, what about the milk?'

"Join me next time when I come up with a catchy cliché for our precious veggies. Remember: Plant a seed inside a fertile mind, and watch it grow into a big head."

Previous Comments

ID

75083

Comment

Scooter Libby Freedom Juice? Man, you show nuff has your finger on the pulse of the community, and you're too funny!

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2007-07-12T11:40:05-06:00

ID

75084

Comment

Jin Stiggers, I thought for a moment I was reading some new material for Richard Pryor. You are too funny! On a more serious note, what is milk made from anyway? It is no way that America's dairy farms get that much real milk from cows. What is the mixture. H2O + what?????????

Author

justjess

Date

2007-07-12T11:48:30-06:00

ID

75085

Comment

Speaking of Veggies, I don't know it "vittles" is a vegetable or fruit, but Senator David "Vittles" Vitter show is fruity for saying one thing and doing another, i.e. haggard and Foley. It turns out he's allegedly family values, pro-marriage and against infidelity and many other things except he tried to help out a struggling DC madam who was down on her luck and he got caught. A genral and caring man by all accounts. President Bush's greatest indiscretion against the people of America may not be that of starting an unnecessay war, but instead the number of republicans he will have to pardon by the time all is said and done.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2007-07-12T12:06:45-06:00

ID

75086

Comment

My apology for errors. Y'all know what I meant to say. I meant to say "if" and "generous'. I meant to say pardon and commutation also. I give up.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2007-07-12T12:12:13-06:00