Jackson Free Press

There comes those undeniable moments in a man's life when doubt—even fear––can set in. One of those moments when, despite experience and confidence, you're not ready for the unexpected. As I get ready to embark on my first overseas tour, I'm frantically running around making sure that I tie all loose ends and put things in order.

See, when you're an independent artist like me, there are no yes-men around to run errands for me. There are no nannies to take care of the kids. There isn't an office full of employees to ensure that day-to-day tasks are handled. No, I haven't had the luxury of sitting back waiting for my departure date for my Czech Republic tour. So up until the 30th, I'll be like that proverbial chicken with his head cut off. Frankly, I'm a little scared. Yes, the big bad rapper is a tad scared of what the next month may hold for him.

First off, I've never been overseas ... ever. This will be my first time on a flight longer than five hours. And I don't have to tell you, once Americans leave U.S. airspace, we're not exactly the most loved folks in the world. So the prospect of being on an overnight flight over foreign waters alone is not a fun one (DJ Phingaprint will be on a separate flight). Second, I'm a notorious homebody. I've often been teased by my fellow rappers for my tendency to stay in and miss all the "happening" parties. When I'm on the road, I'm usually ready to return home as soon as I'm done performing. In the Czech Republic, I won't be able to check my son's homework or call my daughter every night. That bums me out.

It's crazy because I've been in this business for 10 years. I've performed all over the country in front of thousands of people. I've rapped in front of some of the industry's biggest names, yet I fear how I will be accepted in the Czech Republic. What if they don't like me? What if I get hoarse? What if I don't sell any merchandise? For the first time in my life, I'm doubting myself. Here I am, faced with the opportunity of a lifetime, and I'm nervous.

I do know this, though: I'd rather go with doubts than look back on my life and career and have regrets. God has blessed me with an opportunity, and I'm going to seize it. The same things I preach to all the younger artists now holds true for me, too. There is a big world that exists outside the city limits of Jackson. You can't be afraid to explore it. You've got to embrace it and make it yours.

So to all of you who chipped into the cause, you have helped to take our state worldwide. To those of you who didn't, especially the guy who made the snide "Frank" remark, understand the pains it took to make this happen.

We plan on doing Mississippi proud. Stay tuned, there's more to come. And that's the truth ... sho-nuff.

Previous Comments

ID

75119

Comment

Friends and supporters: make sure ya'll come out to the big going away party for me and DJ Phingaprint SATURDAY nite @ Seven*Studioz...9pm...great fun, all types of music(not just rap:-))funk, r&b, house, techno, and jazz in 3 different rooms. And a safe environment!!!!!!

Author

Kamikaze

Date

2007-07-25T15:43:34-06:00

ID

75120

Comment

Great Column and Congrats 'Kaze! Im just getting back in and reading the news. You are indeed a credit to this city and we all should be proud to have you as one of us. Do us proud over across the pond and we'll be praying for you. Ill try to make your going away party if I can stay awake on a Saturday night LOL... ..JFP regs..stand up and applaud!! lets show this man some love!!!:-)

Author

trusip

Date

2007-07-26T13:14:02-06:00

ID

75121

Comment

...and dont forget the going-to-Czech Republic(for lack of a better title)..for myself and DJ Phingaprint @ Seven*Studioz saturday night at 9pm..All JFP bloggers Im looking to see you all. Don't let me start calling names LOL!!!

Author

Kamikaze

Date

2007-07-27T12:10:44-06:00

ID

75122

Comment

Well, I suppose you are overseas at this point. Wish I had been able to read this prior to your departure. It's great to see you offering of yourself in such a way as in this article. I don't know if the rest of your fans are paying attention, but it's clear that you are becoming new. Yes, even 10 years in, you've managed to find a way to allow yourself to welcome and experience newness. And I don't mean going overseas for the first time. But welcoming you, the you that no one else can be. Making public statements like this that show a side of you that rappers are often hesitant to divulge of themselves. This makes me even more proud to be a fan! I look to your voice as guidance Kaze as many do, I am sure. Your kids are extremely fortunate and will one day be outstanding contributions to this world due to your involvement with them, the city and the music world. So, just keep your head up! Now to the JFP bloggers...you people. You come on here day in and day out to bash this man for being vocal about his opinions (the ones you don't agree with). You welcome him as a columnist. Yet an article like this where his growth, manhood and responsibility is magnified, gets absolutely no love. Donna where are you on this issue. This man has single handedly introduced your publication to people who would NEVER otherwise have an interest in what Jackson Free Press has to say. But you and your staff can't come on here and publically support this man. His articles on Frank have hundreds of hits daily, but this one where he needs to feel like WE got HIS back (for a change) gets no love at all. THIS IS A FARSE> then you wonder why people have the attitude they have about the one-sided way this blog is operated. Maybe this is a contributing factor. I think it's a shame that only one other person has come on here to offer encouragement to this aspiring man. Well, Kaze, congratulations on your achievements, your acceptance of growth and I pray that you wake up one day and realize that although the folks in Mississippi are quick to criticize and critique but not so willing to offer encouragement, thanks, and pats on the back -- your work is still necessary in our community and there are many who are not on this blog that CHERISH your contributions wholeheartedly and not just because you benefit them (individually). Stay up and don't stop! They did Jesus the same way.

Author

Queen601

Date

2007-08-01T16:14:45-06:00

ID

75123

Comment

Thanks Queen!! You raised my spirits!!!! I was feeling a little down. Not just about leaving my kids and business but the lukewarm response from Jackson alone was disheartning!!! But I am in all in some kind of cocoon right now..,.Got jetlag, tired, and hoarse from last night'sshow in Prague. Banner's arriving at theairport and we have a show tomorrow. checking emails and tearing up when I read the ones from my kids....Never been away from them thislong...

Author

Kamikaze

Date

2007-08-02T10:21:43-06:00

ID

75124

Comment

I just saw these comments. Folks, are you really mad at the JFP because we're not doing more to "applaud" Kamikaze??? It's great that he's going to the Czech Republic; obviously everyone thinks that, or at least the non-"haters." We give him a blog and a column space to talk about himself as much as he wants (which we don't do for many folks), and we love that. But relax a little here—you're going to turn people off with all the navel-gazing about "not enough love." Good luck over there, Kaze. I've always wanted to go the Czech Republic. Maybe some day. Give my love to Jaro, Phingaprint and Banner.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2007-08-02T10:39:07-06:00

ID

75125

Comment

Queen, do you come on the site and applaud everyone who deserves applauding? I pay Kamikaze the respect of blogging with him, paying attention to what he says as a columnist and a blogger. I'm happy for him, and for mississippi. but, if we spent all the time givingevery columnist and writer that works or has worked at the JFP all of the praise that is due to them, we'd be doint nothing but singing everyone's praises all the time.

Author

kate

Date

2007-08-02T10:50:39-06:00

ID

75126

Comment

Kaze, on another thread, I posted a message asking if you took PayPal donations, but I didn't get a response. Did you still need some $$$$ for your trip? I'm not rolling in dough, but I can still send you a little something if you need it.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-08-02T10:54:37-06:00

ID

75127

Comment

Nah...but thanks L.W. we're here and rollin...but remember the next batch of artists who willo get the chance next year. We want this to be an annual thing.

Author

Kamikaze

Date

2007-08-02T11:08:26-06:00

ID

75128

Comment

Kate to be honest with you, if and when I see someone on here that needs or deserves a pat on the back -- yes by all means, I do give it. However, when I came in here and saw not one response from the likes of those who ALWAYS got something to say (that is - in my opinion- not as positive) and can't come in here - a perfect spot to chime in with 2 cents and see NONE OF YOU was a bit appauling. Why wouldn't I expect to see more than one post on a blog such as this?????????? but, if we spent all the time givingevery columnist and writer that works or has worked at the JFP all of the praise that is due to them, we'd be doint nothing but singing everyone's praises all the time. <<

Author

Queen601

Date

2007-08-03T09:53:58-06:00

ID

75129

Comment

Queen, give it a rest. Some weeks I have time to blog, others I don't. Kamikaze is a big boy, and has his venues, and has consistently gotten all kinds of feedback from me and other people. Not sure why you couldn't have just given him a hearty congratulations, and been done with it. Does Kamikaze really need your "help"?

Author

kate

Date

2007-08-03T10:14:12-06:00

ID

75130

Comment

Kate, you are a trip with yourself. There are conversations on here for weeks, months even - at a time about how terrible Frank is...when things are horrible and not the way "Yall" think it should be, then you sit in here and berate people endlessly, but when it comes to being positive and supportive, "give it a rest". HA!!! credibility shot with me hun! So now, you give it a rest. I bet if Donna had been the first to comment on this thread, you and all the rest of yall would still be in here offering words of encouragement to "this big boy". No he doesn't need my help, I'm sure. But neither does Frank but that doesn't stop you or the rest of the bloggers on here from having all and out HATER PARTIES on the man. So, there, you have it....Kaze should know now where his support lies...as I stated waaaaayyyyyy back in 2002 sometime....it's in HIS COMMUNITY with HIS FOLKS.... Kamikaze take notes...they smile in yo face, but all the while trying to take yo place....dem _________! You know the rest.

Author

Queen601

Date

2007-08-03T13:14:07-06:00

ID

75131

Comment

Queen, go check some of teh archived Jacksonians. You'll find a few where I'm the only, or one of only a couple of people, who offered a "Yay!" Most recent was Susan Womack, a few weeks ago. I blog when i have time, and too much caffeine in my system. Not daily, and I don't, believe it or not, spew every thought that comes into my head. I pretty much missed this piece first time around. Don't need you berating folks for not seeing and responding in public with a note. Also, once again, let's be clear on the difference between "hating" a politician and thinking s/he is doing a really lousy job.

Author

kate

Date

2007-08-03T13:34:04-06:00

ID

75132

Comment

Sure kate. That makes puuuurrrrfect sense.

Author

Queen601

Date

2007-08-03T14:05:17-06:00

ID

75133

Comment

Actually, this is funny. I was just talking about this post from Kamikaze at lunch today and also how I enjoyed his blog entry about the jet lag. I'm proud of him, if he cares, and I hope the music really is well-received in the Czech Republic. Queen601 -- I appreciate that it makes you emotional, but FYI some of the entries do move people even if they don't comment about it. Sometimes we get caught up with the trolls, which accentuates the negative instead of the positive.

Author

Todd Stauffer

Date

2007-08-03T14:34:13-06:00

ID

75134

Comment

Heeey, there is no need for explanations on here, iTodd. I often come on here and don't comment. And it's not because it's not comment worthy. Just because I don't have time. However, when an article this personal is made public, by someone whom I think we would all agree has done everything he can possibly do to better the city of Jackson, we should stand up and offer him the encouragement that he's due. I can easily see how one would think their comment isn't necessary. But imagine how he must feel contributing to this publication regularly in blogs and with his column....not to have but one person give him a "good luck", "god bless", "way to go"...I mean surely these people can't be so self centered that they couldn't see a need for that here in this peice. I did. I actually feel like that might have been the main purpose. to show us that he is still working and looking for some support. I can't see why it's so hard to get people to take time to post something encouraging, when the same people have been on this board all day talking about Jackson endorsements. It would take 2 minutes to come here to say something positive. That's all I'm saying here. I have a problem with all the bashing (never made a secret about that) but it takes it to a whole other level when it's prooven. And yes, it is prooven that only the CRAP gets discussed. Even the article about Cedric which had a blog that went on for weeks and weeks, the main reason why that got all the responses was because it was controversial and mostly negative (not towards Cedric). But when it calls for us to say something that this fella could take overseas with him that assures him that WE GOT HIS BACK....its' too much to ask...we don't have time to comment....we read it, we just didn't comment...just because we didn't comment doesn't mean that we didn't think something positive... Well why not, if you can post about what's wrong....say something about what's right! Guess that's unheard of huh? Doesn't even deserve the time it takes to type those words...when most of these people types paragraph after paragraph when the subject is WHATS WRONG WITH JACKSON.....Too bad that energy can't be channeled into something positive. Such a shame. And to be honest with you, this has really reinterated the reason why I stopped coming here in the first place. And before you chime in Kate, don't worry, I'm disappearing again....Til the next time...and I am sure there will be a NEXT TIME.

Author

Queen601

Date

2007-08-03T16:18:19-06:00

ID

75135

Comment

Kaze, could you tell us yourself how you feel about the responses you've gotten?

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-08-03T16:37:55-06:00

ID

75136

Comment

Greetings all, one week and counting..FYI the show the other night was FANTASTIC!!! over 5000 people and Banner and I were received well. Again its good to be infront of a crowd that appreciates a good show whether you have a radio hit or a video ro not...But LW I think I kind of responded in my Aug 2nd post..i dont write a column or blog or rap for the accolades per se'..Its really just me thinking out loud in a sense bearing my soul to people in a public forum. whateva comes...comes. As Ive always said ...if you dont like me...who cares and if you DO like me...who cares..I care about reaching folks and helping these kids...Hopefully i will have your respect and adoration. As you can see i have many voracious supporters, i have folks who started reading jfp solely because I was writing for it. I just hope when the smoke clears that my contibutions are looked at as important as those of matt, natalie or brian when I eventually fade away from the column(not anytime soon). or that you all come say goodbye to me as well. We all want to be loved at some point i guess :-). But i appreciate all the words of support from you all..And ill keep you all posted. and thanks Todd...

Author

Kamikaze

Date

2007-08-06T12:59:39-06:00

ID

75137

Comment

Glad you had a good show, kaze. Looks like you'll have a pretty good fan base in the other hemisphere. :-)

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-08-06T13:35:30-06:00

ID

75138

Comment

Yeah, maybe that's where I need to be....over there with the folks with VISION and PURPOSE!

Author

Queen601

Date

2007-08-06T14:29:39-06:00

ID

75139

Comment

And in case you missed it LW....this is how he feels...as stated in his post on AUG 2..... Thanks Queen!! You raised my spirits!!!! I was feeling a little down. Not just about leaving my kids and business but the lukewarm response from Jackson alone was disheartning!!! <<<

Author

Queen601

Date

2007-08-06T14:31:13-06:00

ID

75140

Comment

or that you all come say goodbye to me as well. Kaze, don't worry, if you ever leave—which I hope not—we'll buy you a cake and a card, too, and have our requisite little 15-minute office party between page proofs. Or even dutch-treat karaoke at Hal & Mal's if you want. ;-)

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2007-08-06T15:03:11-06:00

ID

75141

Comment

Thanks for the repost, Queen. I guess I can figure a way to keep up with Kaze's posts better - maybe RSS or something. I'm not into rap, clubs, etc., but I'm sure I can figure out a way to show my support.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-08-06T15:31:23-06:00

ID

75142

Comment

Hey, Kaze. I'm about the farthest thing from a rap fan that you'd find but I do enjoy listening to you on the Kim Wade show. And, to that point, you've got to get back here......Wade is going to run amuck without you here to slap him around. Make us proud!

Author

BigGramps

Date

2007-08-06T15:50:56-06:00

ID

75143

Comment

Personally, I love my fraternity brother, Kamikaze. Otherwise, I wouldn't have commented so much about rap music, good and bad. I defended rap for years, and even felt bad about attacking it many months later because I feel strongly Kamikaze, unlike so many rappers, has been a positive influence on the genre of music. However, rap has been blatantly irresponsible and callous therefore certainly deserving the criticism and earned backlash it has been getting, in my opinion. Send me an email Kamikaze telling me what you need. I'll send you a few bucks in the future, at least a time or two. Better late than never. Sho Nuff and that's the truth.

Author

Ray Carter

Date

2007-08-06T16:12:48-06:00

ID

75144

Comment

Ray, what fraternity was brave enough to let you in? LOL

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-08-06T16:49:54-06:00

ID

75145

Comment

yeah..LOL. I know he's gonna run amok without a sensible head to filter some of his ramblings LOL..Lets hope he's not too far gone by the time I get back. Til then,,call in and get on him if he goes off on a tangent

Author

Kamikaze

Date

2007-08-07T12:25:59-06:00