Jackson Free Press

The recent Melton controversy and my bout with sinusitis has taken its toll. In my search for something else, I think I found it. I've seen it before, but who cares? It's still funny.

A year or two ago, my nephew checked a book out of the library called Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot Professor Poopypants by Dave Pilkey. In it, Professor Poopypants forced everyone to change their names based on a certain formula, which is disclosed in the book. I laughed when I found out that my name would be Tootsie Farkletush. If you would like to give it a try, do the following:

1. Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name:

a = snickle
b = doombah
c = goober
d = cheesey
e = crusty
f = greasy
g = dumbo
h = farcus
i = dorky
j = doofus
k = funky
l = boobie
m = sleezy
n = sloopy
o = fluffy
p = stinky
q = slimy
r = dorfus
s = snooty
t = tootsie
u = dipsy
v = sneezy
w = liver
x = skippy
y = dinky
z = zippy

2. Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name:

a = dippin
b = feather
c = batty
d = burger
e = chicken
f = barffy
g = lizard
h = waffle
i = farkle
j = monkey
k = flippin
l = fricken
m = bubble
n = rhino
o = potty
p = hamster
q = buckle
r = gizzard
s = lickin
t = snickle
u = chuckle
v = pickle
w = hubble
x = dingle
y = gorilla
z = girdle

3. Use the third letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name:

a = butt
b = boob
c = face
d = nose
e = hump
f = breath
g = pants
h = shorts
i = lips
j = honker
k = head
l = tush
m = chunks
n = dunkin
o = brains
p = biscuits
q = toes
r = doodle
s = fanny
t = sniffer
u = sprinkles
v = frack
w = squirt
x = humperdinck
y = hiney
z = juice

Examples:
Haley Barbour becomes Boobie Dippindoodle.
Mark Twain becomes Dorfus Hubblebutt.
Frank Melton becomes Snickle Chickentush.

So, what's your name? :-)

Previous Comments

ID

110557

Comment

Here are some more: Donna Ladd - Sloopy Dippinnose Todd Stauffer - Cheesey Snicklebutt Brian Johnson - Dorky Pottyshorts

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-03-10T10:10:11-06:00

ID

110558

Comment

Todd Stauffer - Cheesey Snicklebutt Now that's weird. That was my *exact* nickname in college. What are the odds?

Author

Todd Stauffer

Date

2007-03-10T14:56:16-06:00

ID

110559

Comment

Joy. I get Dorky Farkleboob. Hubby is Sleazy Farkleboob. Daughter shares my name. :)

Author

Lady Havoc

Date

2007-03-10T19:12:34-06:00

ID

110560

Comment

Todd, I'm sure it's not easy being "cheesey". LOL LH< if you're Farkleboob and I'm Farkletush, maybe we're distant cousins. Get out the family tree! :-)

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2007-03-10T20:33:49-06:00