Cootie McBride: "Recently several public officials, like Senator Craig, have had some misunderstandings with police officers in public restrooms. It seems as if Big Brother has lengthened his arm of law enforcement from the streets to the toilet seats. Now that the crap has hit the fan regarding this issue, I want to provide some practical tips to fellow public servants and everyday working people.
"Tip #1: While on the seat, refrain from singing lyrics from the Fat Albert Show: 'Hey, hey, hey, it's Fat Albert … Na, na, na, gonna have a good time!' The tune may be catchy, but it might make an undercover cop in the stall next to you very suspicious.
"Tip #2: Assess the area you are about to use. (I paraphrased a tip from the book called 'The Art of War.') If you notice two clean toilet stalls adjacent to each other, be very careful. Immediately take care of your business, flush the toilet, leave the stall, wash your hands and exit the restroom.
"Tip #3: Turn off your MP3 player or iPod when you enter the toilet stall of your choice. Why? Well, you might start tapping your foot while listening privately to one of your favorite tunes. This could be just as bad as singing the Fat Albert Song, mentioned in the first tip.
"If you or someone you know needs a lawyer regarding an arrest during a police sting operation inside a public restroom, call Cootie McBride at 1-888-AWW-CRAP!"
Previous Comments
- ID
- 75327
- Comment
That's some phone number, Stig. :-P
- Author
- LatashaWillis
- Date
- 2007-09-15T08:26:34-06:00
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