Jackson Free Press

Bart Starrchild: "This is your token Caucasian announcer broadcasting live from the Funky Ghetto Mall. I'm here for the premiere of the Ghetto Science Team's Community Christmas Parade titled 'A Missing Toe Christmas,' brought you by the Ghetto Science Team Television Network. With me is Boneqweesha Jones, on-the-scene reporter and president of Hair-Did University School of Cosmetology."

Boneqweesha Jones: "Thank you, Bart. This year's parade celebrates the artistry of controversial ghetto-folk artist Bruh Sylvester. His 'Christmas Missing Toe' art, thought-provoking sculptures and other works have inspired the Ghetto Science community to explore the avenues of critical thinking."

Bart Starrchild: "Bruh Sylvester's works are prime examples of functional art."

Boneqweesha Jones: "True, Bart! Art is more than a pretty picture hanging on a wall. It's a story waiting to be told, or a message with the potential to inspire."

Bart Starrchild: "The parade begins with the Poppa Wheelie Ol' School Motorcycle Club blazing the trail with those Harley Davidsons, followed by the Clubb Chicken Wing Cha Cha Slide Drill Team."

Boneqweesha Jones: "How about Nurse Tootie McBride's Certified Nurse Assistants Drum Corps, followed by the Brotha Hustle Juicy Juice Thirst Patrol and Queem-O-Wheat's Meals on Wheels Truck?"

Bart Starrchild: "Moving slowly down the Ghetto H.O.V. lane is the bright yellow Double Dutch Church Bus with Rev. Cletus driving and the Church Hat Sisters waving to the people."

Boneqweesha Jones: "And to remind us of other holiday celebrations are members of the Hanukkah and Kwanzaa Squads.