While playing a jolly game of inquiries recently, I was prompted to answer the question, "What is the biggest threat to humankind?" Hastily, and foolishly, I responded, "ignorance." But after further rumination over the question, I have arrived at what I know to be the most imminent, dangerous catalyst for utter self-destruction: Oprah Winfrey.
Women (and some men) around the world adore her for her philanthropic deeds, compassion and identification with the "everywoman," but how many cars did she have to give away to make American adults fall at her feet in adoration? How many made-for-TV movies did she have to produce (and star in) for people to trust everything she says? How many celebrity couples did she have to take under her wing before America realized that she is our salvation?
Perusing the titles at Barnes and Noble during the holidays, a book cover with her picture caught my eye. Hands clasped together palm to palm, gentle eyes looking upward, Oprah's photo is cropped to fit a large "O." In the classic iconographic style of the orthodox church, the "O" serves as Oprah's halo. The title reads, "The Gospel According to Oprah."
Enraged, I picked up the paperback book to read the back cover. It is filled with comments by reviewers and fellow authors of "The Gospel According to …" books, and the synopsis at the bottom reads that author Marcia Nelson concludes in the book that "Oprah is a compelling and successful spiritual teacher in spiritually eclectic and ever-practical America."
I felt woozy, as though I might faint. Did I read correctly? Oprah, a spiritual teacher? Will she author a novel that religious scholars will quote? Will I look into the face of my pastor and see Oprah Winfrey? Will she take over the known world? Will the new leading religion of choice be "Oprahism"?
I recalled my freshman year at Mississippi College, when the lobby of my dormitory would fill up with young women every weekday at 4 p.m. Kleenex boxes in laps, they were so eager to find emotional release and stimulation. I remember thinking it to be slightly cult-like, but occasionally I would join them for a few minutes in passing. They would sit in silent attentiveness, glued to the television, occasionally turning to each other and shrilly pushing out an "aww!" I knew that they would be in the exact same spot in 30 years, rounding out the 50-plus white female majority of Oprah's studio audience.
Emerging from my daydream, I returned the book to its shelf. Having been unsuccessful in finding the perfect gift—and deeply disturbed by my encounter—I left Barnes and Noble. I stopped at the grocery store on my way home to pick up a couple of items, and as I stood waiting in the painfully long checkout line, I saw her face. A huge fan of "home" magazines, I was initially intrigued by O magazine. I wasn't an Oprah fan when O first went into publication, but I didn't hate her, either. But there was always something holding me back from buying a copy: her face. Who in their right mind thinks it's OK to plaster pictures of themselves on the cover of every issue of their already self-titled magazine? Vanity is not just a piece of furniture, folks.
I'm not sure what deal the Kosciusko native might have made with the devil, but even the biggest Oprah fan must admit that the talk show star's rise to fame—and demi-god status—is peculiar. I remember when she and her best friend, Gayle King, did a road-trip special. People ate that crap up. They even laughed when she picked up the fuel pump at a gas station, and said that she didn't know how to pump gas. What?! That woman is from Mississippi, and she doesn't know how to pump gas? Right. But did her audience members stop watching? Of course not. They thought it was hilarious. They loved to see Oprah play dumb for the cameras.
Even more peculiar than her rise to fame, however, is her power of persuasion. She has the Midas touch. Why do you think "The Color Purple" was so widely acclaimed? Certainly not because of Whoopi Goldberg or Danny Glover, and definitely not because of Alice Walker, that's for sure. In September, Oprah endorsed Barack Obama for the Democratic presidential ticket, an unprecedented move on her part. Politicos doubted Oprah's influence in the political realm, but ever since Obama has been dancing—literally—into the hearts of Americans. Hillary Clinton, whose poll numbers were ahead of Obama's in September, now trails him by 7 points going into the New Hampshire primaries.
Does this mean that Obama will win the Democratic ticket? Not necessarily. But The New York Times reported last December that the majority of Oprah's audience is comprised of women who, if not for Oprah's endorsement, would be inclined to vote for Clinton. Perhaps Mommy Warbucks has turned the tides.
Only time will tell.
What I know now, this very day, however, is that America has to wake from its trance. The world must turn off its television sets and stop being mindless zombies. Oprah is a giving person, sure. She's built a school for young African women who might not have had the opportunity to learn without her help. That is kick-ass. But that doesn't make Oprah an adviser to be trusted by all of her fans.
Think for yourselves. Read up on your stuff—especially during the primary season—and make informed decisions. Just because Oprah tells you to read a book doesn't mean that it will change your life. If she tells you that Obama walks on water, are you going to believe that? Oprah may be worthy of a lot, but certainly not blind allegiance.
When humankind finally does kick the bucket, it may be due to ignorance. Or, it may be because of Oprah Winfrey.
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