Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcement: "This episode of 'All God's Churn Got Shoes' is about one man's junk becoming another man's treasure—or vice versa—as Brotha Hustle and Aunt Tee Tee stumble upon some interesting stuff belonging to the Government Intelligence Agency."

Brotha Hustle (reading aloud as he types a letter to the Government Intelligence Agency): "Dear Government Intelligence Agency: While throwing some trash into the Ghetto Community dumpster, Aunt Tee Tee and I discovered two unmarked boxes full of labeled videocassettes.

"One box that caught our attention contained videocassettes labeled 'Waterboarding.' Aunt Tee Tee and I thought the videocassettes were copies of a movie about water-surfing African Americans, starring Will Smith, Denzel Washington, Queen Latifah and Gabrielle Union. But to our surprise, the movies featured unknown actors portraying roles as prisoners of war and intelligence agents.

"Another box contained some educational videocassettes labeled 'Professional Interrogation Techniques.' After viewing several hours of these videos, Aunt Tee Tee and I learned how to coerce a confession by dripping water into a wet cloth over an individual's face. I considered selling these movies on videocassette to ghetto consumers. Aunt Tee Tee, however, advised me not to sell the 'Waterboarding' and 'Professional Interrogation Techniques' videos because they lacked action, story line and production value. Instead, we decided to return the tapes back to you.

"If you need some post-production work done on these videos for a reasonable fee, please consider Aunt Tee Tee. She's a video editing wiz!

"Sincerely, Brotha Hustle and Aunt Tee Tee."