Jackson Free Press

I am growing very weary of people around this town who are always able to find some way to throw "salt" on those who are trying to make a difference. I'm beginning to wonder if some people are born with the natural ability to be hateful and derrogatory. It's unfortunate that progress has to be stumped by those unwilling to accept change and growth. We face these folk in every aspect of our lives, regardless of where you live. However, it's easy to second guess your strides and efforts when met with constant resistence. It's even more difficult when one knows that there is a job to be done and that it is absolutely necessary. I know that any person who steps up to the plate to offer something new will face naysayers and non-believers. There seems to be some level of complacency here that is keeping this city from forward movement.

What I long to know is how does that person keep going? What must be done in order to keep that motivation strong and not just give up? How are some people so strong in their efforts and their beliefs that they can overlook and/or ignore those who are simply trying to tear down what you're trying to build? I find it very challenging. Anyone out there who has overcome such an obstacle, please tell me how you've done that? What characteristic must one have to overcome these obstacles - patience, tolerance, acceptance - what is it?

It's a rough chore to have to have a vision that could offer improvement for our city, or our family, or our jobs, or our friends, and to not find support but to be met with blockers. What must one do to move pass this and keep their goal and mission in focus???

Previous Comments

ID

135859

Comment

Queen, you have to find or discover that power within you, then study, think critically and verify that your cause is just. Then you have to refuse to quit. A great life has to be about something you hold dear and are unwilling to give up on. The cause of trying to change the backward and racist mindsets of many Mississippi from their old ways is a challenge I take on every day and refuse to give up on, no matter how many people I piss off or wish I were different or would like me better if I changed my approach and style toward achieving the goal. I refuse to pretend things are just fine or that I need to shut up or that I need to change my appraoch. I have watched and studied the approaches of others with different methods numerous times and see mostly fake or pretended change or reconstruction. I rather die making other angry and being angry myself than to pretend we have overcome when I see gross evidence to the contrary on a daily basis. I don't care whether some racist, prejudiced, scared, weak, more knowing or arguably smarter person likes or approves of my methods. I make a great attempt to let love (not blind love though), mutual respect and the truth be my guide and source of comfort. I'm always open to change and correction, but not to accepting someone else's taste so they or others will like me better.

Author

Walt

Date

2008-09-18T10:30:09-06:00

ID

135862

Comment

You decide you don't care what people think, and just keep going. Oh, and you pray a lot.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-09-18T10:48:41-06:00

ID

135865

Comment

I don't understand the comment, Ladd. I don't care what certain people or kinds of people think of me because I know what I do and why I do it. People too often spend their time criticizing me and not the content of what I say or do. I can distinguish that. I don't claim any perfection, but I'm not stupid. You don't really understand what I said but I'm alright with it. I do pray, but I don't recall ever discussing or divulging how much. I usually try to keep that to myself. Are we going to discuss how much others pray, too? Caring what the wrong people think has wreaked untold damage and delay to the liberation of black people. I choose not to get caught up in the same ole game of trickery. And I never said I didn't care what any people think. Obviously I do. I engage in discussions all the time for the purpose of sharing, learning, growing, exchanging, et al. Looks like I struck a nerve. What did I say or do wrong? I'm open to listening.

Author

Walt

Date

2008-09-18T11:06:31-06:00

ID

135868

Comment

You decide you don't care what people think and just keep going.... Hmmmm, now there's a thought! Problem is, if you're doing what you perceive to be for the betterment of the same people who are naysaying, how do you not care what they think. I mean believe me this is not really about personal stregnth (necessarily); but moreso about making it clear to people who are not aware that things need to change. And not only that but put up a fight against you to prevent improvement. I personally think people who do this are just selfish "haters". Haters are motivators for me. But I tell you every now and then it gets me on the inside. I'm trying to help you, me, us! What is the problem!!!! I would like to convince these people that the energy they spend naysaying could be spent contributing to change! Then the battle would be won with ease because these folk own a powerful punch that could be very useful -- if they'd STOP HATING!

Author

Queen601

Date

2008-09-18T11:11:55-06:00

ID

135871

Comment

Walt, I think Donna was just advising me to not give much thought to what people think and keep going....

Author

Queen601

Date

2008-09-18T11:14:31-06:00

ID

135875

Comment

Queen, what people aren't aware that racism is wrong and harmful to the victims? I don't believe they exist. What people aren't aware that abuse is wrong and harmful to the victim? I don't beleive they exist. And if they exist, they need to choose someone other than me for love and understanding. Often, in my opinion, people have, in their minds, valuable and justified reasons for being naysayers or whatever they insist on being. Some of them can't be convinced to change or it takes too much time to convince them for my taste. (That word taste comes up again). Personally, I would try to outsmart and go around them if I could. If I couldn't do that, someone else would have to work on that group, and my energies would have to be spent working with someone else. All of us will never agree on everything. It's just the way it is.

Author

Walt

Date

2008-09-18T11:22:24-06:00

ID

135876

Comment

Queen, folks will be haters until they see that what you're doing in working. Then they'll join the bandwagon. This prevents them from looking like they were wrong if they joined in from the beginning and things didn't work out. Prime example: Obama supporters. A lot of folks were wary of supporting him until he won the Iowa caucus.

Author

LatashaWillis

Date

2008-09-18T11:23:07-06:00

ID

135878

Comment

Queen, you also accept as a sure fact that no matter what you do or say, somebody is going to dump on you. So you firmly resolve that you may as well get dumped on for doing and saying that which you believe in your heart is right and just and good, the naysayers and cynics be damned!

Author

Kacy

Date

2008-09-18T11:27:50-06:00

ID

135880

Comment

Kacy, we never met, but you know something about me. I don't like predictability though. It makes it too easy for people to read and counter you.

Author

Walt

Date

2008-09-18T11:37:59-06:00

ID

135881

Comment

Queen, What a terrific question! I think we can all give you great advice, like Donna's "decide you don't care what people think." Personally, that one's never worked for me, although it works for her. You have to find the answers in yourself. Here's the thing for me: I had to find the people and activities that I can turn to over and over again who remind me that I'm fine just the way I am. Those are the people, like my friend Terry, who tells me to stop gossiping about her friend when I say, "I suck," or something similar. That's my writing, the JFP and my yoga classes. I pray, too, although I imagine no one but me would call it that. There are also two other reminders I constantly have to keep in front of my nose: First, no one is convinced by my talking--the thing that convinces people are my actions. I strive to follow Gandhi's advice to "be the change" I want to see in the world. Second, people do and think what they do and think regardless of who I am. In other words, I do my best not to take it personally, even though I usually care very much what people think. Actually, I could go on for days on what keeps my head above water: I read everything, I shut up and listen, I try to be compassionate in the face of criticism, etc., etc., etc. I don't get there most of the time, and I'm sure no saint, but it's the journey and my fellow travelers that matter. If only I could remember!

Author

Ronni_Mott

Date

2008-09-18T11:47:13-06:00

ID

135883

Comment

I tolally misread what Donna wrote. My bad! I said I don't claim perfection. But it gave me reason to explain or further discuss. I'm out after this. Speaking of praying. Y'all pray for me as we have the 5th trial in Flowers starting Monday and lasting likely 2 weeks. Queen, I'm likely to be hated and looked upon as a scourge, slick advocate, trickster, and dumb, with lips, nose and behind that are too big for any human being. Yet I'll fight on (gladiator-style) like I can't see or hear any of it with my eyes, ears and soul looking toward the prize - zealous advocacy and justice.

Author

Walt

Date

2008-09-18T11:58:55-06:00

ID

135887

Comment

Wow, guys what wonderful responses. I've always been a somewhat sensitive person, as most of you can likely attest to. However, when i am strong in my passion about something I often take personal issue with critism. I know that's not the best route to go since most of the naysayers know nothing about me or my passion (really). But, it is still very hurtful when you feel strongly about something and you're working with an unselfish heart to bring about improvement to some issue or another. Everyone will certainly not agree, I know. Although I can see L.W. comment clearly and agree it's unfortunate that it has to be that way. It's even harder to find like minded people when they are waiting to lend support because you may fail. Failure is almost a guarantee without that support. Which brings me to another point. What is even worse to me than the naysayers and critics are those people who complain and criticize with great conviction. They always have something to add or a point to make. They always have a finger to point out what your mistakes are, what you are not doing, how you are doing this for that reason and not for the reason you claim.... These folk make me want to just scream because they are so quick to analyze and point out the wrong but are not willing to contribute to the action it takes to make things better. Jackson is plagued with these folks. From personal experience people and this isn't a racist comment - MY people are the kings and queens of being the complainers and not the actors. We sit around and talk and talk and complain and spit negative comments around like water. But when it comes to action, we're no shows. That's extemely unsettling and frustrating. What would make a person want to continue their efforts for change, when the people they're trying to help - don't want it or don't see a need for it. It sometimes seems like a worthless effort.

Author

Queen601

Date

2008-09-18T12:47:41-06:00

ID

135888

Comment

I should alter my quick response slightly. I do care about what people of substance think. I got a note, for instance, recently from Gov. William Winter about a column I wrote, and I really cared about that. ;-) I care what Queen thinks, even I don't agree sometimes. I care what Walt thinks. I care what my staff thinks. And so on. What I should have said was: Don't worry about what stupid (or mean or uncompassionate or bigoted) people think. They just don't matter in the big picture. Or, as Todd always says: Do the right thing and wait. My other advice is to not stay in the presence of toxic people very long. Don't let negativity bring you down, and don't let ignorant belittlement (which toxic people thrive on) get you down. When you're trying to do good work, there are always people who want to stop you in order to feed their own ego, or because you threaten their schtick. Just don't bite. Be strong. Develop a tough skin. And surround yourself with people who love, not hate. And whatever you originally thought I said Walt, I definitely didn't say. ;-)

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-09-18T13:04:41-06:00

ID

135889

Comment

Jackson is plagued with these folks. I think that has something to do with our very low collective self-esteem that our history handed us. I try to feel compassion toward people like that because I know it stems from their personal problem more than anyone's else's. It's why I don't allow that kind of toxic person to dominate this Web site -- when you do that, all the non-toxic folk leave and that's all you have left. But feeling compassion is not the same as "idiot compassion," a buddhist phrase that means that you shouldn't give people acting idiotic a free pass. Call them out as necessary for the public good and ignore them the rest of the time. They will only attract people of like mind, and the chickens always come home to roost.

Author

DonnaLadd

Date

2008-09-18T13:08:28-06:00

ID

135892

Comment

Queen, I hear you about us - black folks. One of the most hurtful things to me is seeing people like Shuttleworth, King, Malcolm, Fannie and many more risk their lives daily to kick in the door of opportunity then have non-participating bystanders and young bucks, does, sheeps or whatever take up the seats before they can turn around and look for a seat. But what's even worse is to have these people say they don't owe any of those people anything. I can't stand these types of Negroes and know they would be good house Negroes in an earlier century and time. I fight to make the world a better and fairer place for my grandchildren, people who have disabilities and can't fight themselves, people who would like to fight but can't, and because my grandfathers couldn't fight the fight and for good people of all races, cultures, genders and sexes. Queen, I have worked in the Delta and in Madison county where black folks had the great majority of citizens in certain districts yet saw non-blacks who hate blacks win constantly. I've seen more Negroes sitting on the porch and talking spit than I care to remember yet not register to vote and not be available to get a ride to the polls. It breaks my heart but I fight on for that young black kid like me who will be dealt a messy hand by parents, teachers, other relatives and society in general. I hope he or she will refuse to believe they can't succeed despite the odds. I want to die saying I tried to help somebody who couldn't help themselves. I don't care what race or sex good people are. I love the type and hate those that show me they aren't any good. I'm still trying to not hate the later and have failed at it so far. Queen, if you study other cultures and races more carefully you will soon see we're not the only ones with great hurdles to overcome. For some reason beyond me, though, we don't seem to love and cherish one another, and most of all realize how tenuous and dependent our situation is in America, no matter the facade of how far we have come. Only a few of us have made the trip or transition earnestly and honestly. If you make the trip without caring about the ones still left behind, you haven't made it, in my view.

Author

Walt

Date

2008-09-18T13:59:17-06:00

ID

135912

Comment

1. My passion, my writing and my ability to connect is a spiritual gift, and I would be in the wrong to allow someone to break that spirit. 2. I pray a lot. I pray to reach the goal, I pray to reach it with a healthy and positive spirit and I pray that the defenses of others will fall and the I am able to choose my words and battles in a manner that softens hearts and opens minds instead of creating more barriers. 3. I surround myself personally, even if it's just in emails when things get too busy ;), with people who share my spirit. 4. I understand that the tearing down and crying out of others is evidence that I'm doing a pretty good job. And know this......a change is gonna come! And in lots of places, change HAS come.

Author

emilyb

Date

2008-09-18T22:21:30-06:00

ID

135921

Comment

I am particularly interested in your perception emily. The reason being is that most of the people who "share in my spirit" are the very ones I'm talking about. So what does that mean? See this is what I have an issue with. People who I "think" are like minded individuals. They say the right things and are at all the right places with all the correct responses. However, there is some sort of hateful spirit that drives them in the dark that has a negative effect on progress. These are the people who make me feel as if change for this city and this state is so far down the road. Now, dont' get me wrong, I'm not speaking in general terms. Meaning, not everyone I know is fake and phoney in their approach to progression. It's just that somehow support, commitment and dedication doesn't seem to have much value when it gets down to the bottom line. I'm more inclined to go back to L.W.'s comment. I think she has hit the nail on the head. Basically people are non-believers until that have substantial reason to believe in the cause. Even if they are active in their approach to change. It's sort of like if it's new, there's a underlining trial and error period. If the idea or movement is successful, THEN people want to jump aboard the train to change. However, if it isn't successful, which it will likely not be due to most of the "like minded people" waiting around for positive results before committing, then you may get someone to join in your efforts. That's so unfortunate. The stunning and most embarassing thing about that is that most progressive cities are the way they are because they realized that there is no time to waste or wait. We must act! Complacency has no place in forward movement. I think leaders must take the approach of Dr. King and Malcolm X and even Barack Obama that ONE MAN CAN MAKE A CHANGE. ONE MAN CAN MAKE A DIFFERENCE....or in my case...one WOMAN can make a change/difference. I suppose if the cause is that important, it shouldn't really be about who's "down" with your idea or your cause. Just do it because it's something you believe in and let the other folk worry about themselves. I suppose taking that approach will eventually lead to the tough skin that D-Ladd talked about is a must. At that point, it really doesn't matter who's with you and who isn't.

Author

Queen601

Date

2008-09-19T08:11:35-06:00

ID

135935

Comment

Great advice, Baquan. I have a question for you, Queen. Can you tell us exactly what good ideas, needed plans or offers of progress are being rejected by Jacksonians that are precluding progress. Personal ideas or plans sometime aren't new or even good ones until presented, debated, attacked, discussed, revamped, edited, improved, et al. They have to be made workable under the rules - legally, morally, financially doable and so on. Certainly there are some people who don't want to see progress or change due to personal benefits or losses of power, influences, finances. However, most good people looking out for the good of the city without simutaneously looking for personal gain are open to good ideas if presented correctly and the kinks are worked out. One argument I've heard alot from some of the young bloggers here is that old folks won't get out of the way. Old folks would be unwise to move out of the way and let some young fool who hasn't proven he knows jack to take over. Take Kwane Kilpatrick for instance. He was/is a smart and very capable young man, but he remained foolish and influenced by bad habits, victimization despite so many blessing and talents, and he forgot the true goal or purpose for holding office. Or he never knew the real purpose for holding a public office although he pretended he did. Young folks often miscalculate their know-how and untested abilities. People who prove themselves and hang in the game usually have good things happen for them. Wisdom often comes with being around for a while, and a fool usually doesn't have wisdom for wisdom is too wise for him.

Author

Walt

Date

2008-09-19T11:35:23-06:00

ID

135938

Comment

Moreover, after Kwame caused the city to pay a large sum of money to cover up his wrongdoings and got caught in the wrong, he remained too foolish to come clean and ask for true forgiveness. Even the church thing he did with his wife by his side was phony, foolish and unrepenatant. There are people on the Detroit City Council whose education, associations and connections could never compare to those of Kwane's blessings, but they weren't as foolish as he was/is. The great Coleman Young who served as mayor of Detroit for 20 years didn't even have a college education, I don't believe. But he was a wise and smart. I'll check to see if he had a college education.

Author

Walt

Date

2008-09-19T11:53:47-06:00

ID

135940

Comment

Queen, et al, Coleman Young didn't go to college. I'll let everyone in on a little secret here. The reason I like and admire Coleman Young so much is because he was a tireless fighter, and while he could intellectually spar with just about anyone, he had a similar spirit to me. On some occasions, he would just throw away his great intellect and curse somebody the hell out. People criticized him for doing it, but he never completely stopped doing it. I think he said it was a quicker way to get his point across. No doubt, he is one of my heroes. Queen, a reading of Coleman Young's book might help you in your cause or question. I have a copy of it at home but confess I never read it.

Author

Walt

Date

2008-09-19T12:19:13-06:00

ID

135943

Comment

Baquan, I'm not disagreeing with you. Your point is clear. I'm not disagreeing with anyone here. And as a matter of fact, that word "hateful" has somehow turned into the wrong word. I should have said fearful or complacent. When I wrote that I didn't mean it as literally as (I think) you took it. And just for your information, I am NOT a complainer or a talker....I am a doer! I am a board member of the Jackson Progressives and I can certainly assure you that we will always be progressive. We will always be for Jackson. We will always push for positivity in this city whether we have hundreds of supports, thousands, or dozens. I have even taken this movement a little further and started a non=-profit org for women. All women. There needs to be some attention put on the stregnth of Jacksonian women and I recognize that. I am willing to do what I can to promote that. I am not at all ALL talk sir. Not that you were saying that. But I must not miss the opportunity to say that in case some one is reading and thinking that about me. I really started this thread in hopes that someone who has been through this particular issue of running into those who continuously downplay, attack, ridicule, and cause negative reaction to positive ideas and efforts, to offer me some encouragement for the hard times when it seems easier to just give up and let folks make their own way. I've gotten that here and I appreciate every one's time and assistance.

Author

Queen601

Date

2008-09-19T13:35:53-06:00