Nurse Tootie McBride: "Greetings counter protesters! We're gathered today to counteract the anti-health-reform folk who disturb the politicians at the town-hall meetings. From what I've seen, it's not a pretty sightjust a lot of angry, frustrated, scared and sometimes misinformed individuals packing heat and swinging picket signs. And they are mad as you know what.
"As counter protesters, our mission is to diffuse the anger, spite and fear of the anti-health-reform folk. Our demonstration is one of peace, love, forgiveness, reconciliation, understanding and progress. Remember what Dr. Martin Luther King and other civil-rights leaders achieved back in the day when angry people retaliated against them.
"Rev. Cletus has the Double Dutch Church Bus ready to take us to the remaining town-hall meetings. So, when folk get heated, we'll be there to keep things cool, calm and collected. And remember, we also attend the rallies to support health-care reform.
"Brother Hustle will provide refreshing Juicy Juice and bottled water on ice, and some crunchy snacks from Jojo's Discount Dollar Store and Pork-N-Piggly supermarket.
"Aunt Tee-Tee Hustle will be our IT and electronic-media specialist. She will provide our Ghetto Science Journalism Squad with refurbished digital cameras and laptops with mobile wireless Internet cards to upload blogs and report all protest activity on our major social networks like GhettoSpace and GhettoTube.
"Security will be provided by the Inspector Beat Down Lipscomb Self Defense Academy and the Praise Patrol, union # 272 and 1/9."
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