Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto-criminal justice system, the people are represented by two members of the McBride family: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride, and attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I. This is their story."

Dudley sits at his desk watching television.

Dudley (yells to Cootie): "What is the world coming to? Tiger Woods is featured on a segment of 'Cheaters'! Ouch!"

Cootie: "Sorry to interrupt you, Dudley. Dispatcher called us to investigate a dispute at the Clubb Chicken Wing Multipurpose Complex. Smokey 'Robinson' McBride is having a shindig there. It's a big dispute between some suspected party crashers and Sister Church Hat of Praise Patrol Security Inc."

Cootie and Dudley arrive on the scene.

Dudley: "What's up, Sis?"

Sister Church Hat: "These socialites want to crash Congressman Smokey's grass-roots Pre-Christmas, Chanukah and Kwanzaa party. They insist their names are on the guest list, refuse to show identification and plead the Fifth Amendment. Our guard dogs, Poochie and Alonzo, smell trouble from these imposters. They could be operative agents from Operation White Backlash sent to infiltrate and disrupt our gathering."

Cootie (addressing the socialites): "I didn't see your names on the guest list. Perhaps you meant to attend the other party down the hallway."

Socialites: "Oops! We thought this was the Housewives of the Ghetto Science Team's Don't Be Tardy for the After Party and Disco! Our bad!"

(Doink! Doink!)