Jackson Free Press

So I spent most of yesterday morning in the condo, having long legal-jargony telephone conversations with the folks at CheapOAir and the folks at Delta—neither of whom I will ever have any other conversations with, because I will never fly with either again. Which kinda sucks because, up until yesterday, Delta was my favorite airline.

Let me explain. Upon opening my flight info, I note that I am flying from Salt Lake into Dulles and then from REAGAN into LaGuardia. A simple mistake, the folks at Delta would fix this in no time. Two booking agents and two supervisors later, I am told (numerous times and in increasing decibels) I must pay $200 to change the flight, and that this is on CheapOAir, the agent who booked the flight. I get upset and emotional, and then I put my "lawyer" on the phone (Thabi's New York-based friend Candace, who hopped a plane at the last minute, with the rationale, "When's the next time I'll know someone with a film at Sundance?" I dunno honey, but if you keep hangin' with Mississippi, I'd say, how 'bout next year?)

Okay now, tell me—is this NOT absurd? Reagan and Dulles are 23 miles apart, and I have three hours between flights. Would I be booking via CheapOAir if I had $58 (plus tip) to blow on an intra-airport taxi? Who has ever heard of something so inane?

So Candace is amazing. All these phrases like "consumer advocacy law," "breach in consumer contract" and "protest letter cc-ed to the Attorney General" spew from her lips. I borrow these phrases for the further dealings I will suffer with CheapOAir and Delta, after Thabi and Candace go on their merry-movie way. Ultimately I end up googling the cheapest way to get between Dulles and Reagan via public transport. And there are so many suggestions (all of which seem incredibly convoluted), that I am left with the dumbfounded sense that this dilemma is not novel, and I have not been as personally wronged as I suspected. Which doesn't make this any less ridiculous.

(Apparently, it's all my fault, according to CheapOAir. I DID look at my ticket a few weeks ago, but come ON—both airports are proximately labeled "Washington," and those three nonsensical letters behind Washington are hardly blaring.)

Hard Lesson Learned at Sundance 2009. Not as hard as Hard Lesson Learned at Sundance 2008—which was, in our daily lives, we mostly underestimate that hardworking band of intra-knee tissue, medically termed anterior cruciate ligament and commonly termed ACL. Oh my lovely hamstring-cum-reconstructed ACL, you will never go unappreciated again!)

At least, at least—the granola bars are back! It's the little things.