Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto criminal justice system, the people are represented by three members of the McBride family: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride, Nurse Tootie McBride of Ghetto Science Community Clinic, and attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I. This is their story."

(doink, doink!)

Nurse Tootie (screaming): "Coooootie, Duuuudley! Dispatcher says either a race riot or protest is about to happen at the Cootie Creek County Community College Swim Club!"

Cootie and Dudley (in unison): "Aww, heck no! It can't be!"

Nurse Tootie: "It's time for an intervention, brothers! We got to stop the drama and increase the peace!"

(Cootie, Tootie and Dudley jump in the SUV and drive to the swim club. Upon arrival, they witness a humiliated group of ghetto children and adults from Camp Ghetto Science Team standing outside the pool area. Cootie goes to talk with the directors of the swim club and Camp Ghetto Science Team.)

Cootie: "What's causing the water to boil at this swimming pool?"

CGST director: "That mean, old swim-club director and members saw us splashing in the pool, decided to change the rules and kicked us out of the club!"

Swim club director: "Not so! We were afraid that the Camp Ghetto children would change the complexion of our swim club. It was just too many of you people."

Nurse Tootie: "Lawd, forgive him for that negrophobic statement—another incident of Foot in Mouth disease."

Cootie and Dudley: "Doink, doink!"