Jackson Free Press

According to a Reuters report today, North Korea contends that if they are punished by the U.N. Security Council for next month's planned missile launch, they will restart a nuclear plant which manufactures weapons-grade plutonium.
Here is a link to photos of the Great Mystique of the Far East. http://www.tema.ru/travel/north-korea-2/
Shane Smith, the founder of Vice Magazine, took a trip. http://www.vbs.tv/video.php?id=1438428757
Here are the happiest kids in the world. http://www.flickr.com/photos/mytripsmypics/2926641814/

When I think about the tremendous anxieties which plague me on long-distance flights to the moon, I think back to my unyielding desire to fall onto North Korea's position on the map and hide in plain sight. In a bullet-proof, mine-proof rolling bubble, I would travel through the streets a la Marble Madness and explore the abyss of the civilized world. On second thought, I would prefer to be invisible. I want to view them in their natural, freaky habitat.

What is it about North Korea? You won't find exotic beaches with cigarette models tanning in the nude lining the shores of North Korea. I never hear of Communist celebrities flying in a helicopter to North Korea to tackle their "killer sick" slopes. Nothing is in North Korea that we can't find elsewhere.
Yet we are not allowed to enter. We are prohibited. No outsiders. Nobody. If you are born in North Korea, you stay in North Korea. With few exceptions, North Koreans think the world is North Korea. They believe they are the leaders in every major category. Best Economy, Best Food, Best Music, Best Clothing, Best Western, etc.

And because we can't spend our savings on a 5-day vacation trip to North Korea, we want to infiltrate it so badly. It's like when you are walking in a crowd and you see a girl which strikes your fancy, but only for a brief second. Her face does not leave a lasting impression so you attempt to catch it one last time.
But then she walks behind a pole. Then some bratty kid holds up his birthday balloon and it obstructs her face. Then she walks behind a wall.
Then she is completely in front of you and all you can see is her strawberry-blonde hair and cigarette model legs. You are now sprinting and throwing up the middle finger in the air when a grandmother asks you to slow down. You hope she isn't on one of those motorcarts that could take her to the Grand Canyon. There is no way you could outrun one of those.
And right when you think she is about to enter a taxi cab, she turns around because she received a phone call from her more-than-likely gorgeous husband.
And then you see her.
And it's a 36-year-old man in drag and you are incredibly disappointed. Then you sulk back to your girlfriend and begin to question your faith in Christianity.

That to me is North Korea. When I finally hijack a space shuttle one day and crash land into a North Korean mountainside, I'll explore the dreary countryside-wearing my invisibility cloak, of course- and absorb the wonders of this forbidden country.
After four days of complete disappointment, I'll realize that nothing was special about North Korea except that I knew nothing of it. It is the unknown that led me to break into Cape Canaveral at 3:30 am.
But the facade! North Korea is just a man in drag.

Previous Comments

ID

145130

Comment

What could be more fascinating than a man in drag with psychotic megalomaniacal tendencies and his finger on his taepodong?

Author

WMartin

Date

2009-03-26T10:52:28-06:00