Jackson Free Press

Rudy McBride: "Greetings to all of my loyal customers journeying through this world of woe during this global recession. This message is dedicated to the wayfaring strangers traveling to that bright land of no sickness, toil or danger. This message is for people waiting for promises to become successful realities. This message is for the brother who's doing bad and stole his momma's flat-screen TV. This message is for folk who are behind on their bills and screen phone calls on their telephone answering machines. This message is for anyone who has experienced home foreclosure and automobile repossession. Who listens to the people crying in the wilderness?

"The answer is: your friendly, stable financial institution, standing tall and strong on shaky, economic ground. Allow myself or my staff to act as a beacon of light at short-term prosperity.

"Give me your tired, broke and financially challenged; your increasing masses of broke, busted and frustrated folk hustling in the streets and neighborhoods, resorting to crime and vice because they lost their jobs, homes and unemployment benefits; the wretched victims of greedy ponzi schemers and hypocritical corporate benefactors waiting in the three-block -long unemployment line.

"Send these, the homeless, jobless, hopeless, helpless and middle-class working poor to me, as I lift my lamp beside the golden door of the Let Me Hold Five Dollars National Bank.

"In other words, I'll let you hold five dollars. And I hope you pay me back!"