Love Thy Neighbor | Jackson Free Press | Jackson, MS

Love Thy Neighbor

By Lacey McLaughlin Wednesday, November 18, 2009 5:10 p.m. CST
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I grew up in the Episcopal Church, and it was the center of everything my family did. From Sunday school to youth group and potluck dinners, the church provided a sense of community and belonging.

A few years ago, the church I was baptized in became divided over the question of gay bishops and same-sex marriages within the denomination.

The debate led to a schism in our congregation. More than half the members renounced the Episcopal faith and became Anglican. The divided members literally packed up and left to start a new church.

It would be incorrect to define this as the reason I stopped participating in church, but it was definitely a turn-off. Despite the fact that I believe gay couples should have equal rights, this difference in opinions severed a church once unified. Relationships that ran years deep were silenced.

The Episcopalian Church isn't the only church dividing itself over gay marriage.

Last week, the Catholic Archdiocese of Washington, D.C., threatened to discontinue providing social programs unless the city changes a proposed same-sex marriage law to be voted on next month.

Even though the proposed law would not require religious organizations to make space available for same-sex weddings, the archdiocese fears it will eventually have give to employee benefits to same-sex couples.

Catholic Charities, the organization that runs the social programs, serves 68,000 people in the city. Services include homeless shelters, food pantries, rental assistance, health care and adoptions. While other modes of funding (public and private donations) contribute to the program, The Washington Post reports that the Catholic Church supplements the program with money from its coffers.

Basically this means the Catholic Church is willing to sacrifice 68,000 of the city's most vulnerable people in an effort to deny other citizens equal rights.

This reasoning defies the church's main purpose of showing God's love, demonstrating compassion to others and empowering others to do the same.

D.C.'s city council members are calling this move a weak attempt at blackmail, and show no signs of changing their support for the law. I imagine that the Catholic Church has managed to successfully isolate and turn off the entire gay community as well as those believe in a core message of Christianity: Love thy neighbor.

Here in Mississippi, we are seeing progress in terms of generational paradigm shifts, emerging activist groups and the practice of tolerance. The religious community must be central to this progressive shift.

With this issue in mind, I decided to attend Safe Harbor Family Church in Jackson last Sunday.

Taking a different approach, this church does not just tolerate, but it welcomes everyone including the LGBT community. In October the church hosted an interfaith church service and workshops during OUToberfest. The church also performs wedding and commitment ceremonies for all couples.

The atmosphere was different from other churches I've been to in the past. I was hugged when I walked in the door, and several members greeted me during the service.

Egon Cohen, a first-year law student at Mississippi College, gave a sermon that humorously compared Jesus to Elvis (as two larger-than-life cultural phenomenon). His overarching message was that sometimes we get caught up in debating the facts and trying to figure out what we believe instead of just stopping and listening to the music and experiencing God.

Cohen, who moved here from West Virginia said he has attended churches of the Baptist faith and has gay family members. He said that while many churches will "tolerate" gay members, rarely do they welcome them and offer them a sense of belonging.

When I mentioned I was writing a column on religion and the LGBT community, a few members expressed anxiety and concern because revealing the names of members could result in backlash from their employers or family. Safe Harbor creates an environment of acceptance and trust, and as a first-time visitor who happens to work for the media, I endangered that space.

I may not know what it is to be judged, picked on and denied equal rights to that same extent, and I can't imagine what it's like to have my family disown me or my church label me a sinner.

But I do understand the power of a good story. Ceara Sturgis's story, reported by Adam Lynch in this week's issue, is impressive because she is happy with herself and doesn't let her sexuality define her. She is more than a lesbian—she is an athlete, a daughter, friend, an honor-roll student, a Mississippian.

I hope that others will stand up like Ceara and take part in conversations about the LGBT community in our state. This isn't a fringe group with issues that should be swept under the rug. These are our community members, friends and co-workers.

The story of Harvey Milk, a gay rights activist and politician in San Francisco, exemplifies the theory that standing up for what you believe in can change the world. He said it best himself during his campaign in 1978.

"I cannot prevent anyone from getting angry, or mad or frustrated," Milk said. "I can only hope that they'll turn that anger and frustration and madness into something positive, so that two, three, four, 500 will step forward, so the gay doctors will come out, the gay lawyers, the gay judges, gay bankers, gay architects. … I hope that every professional gay will say 'enough,' come forward and tell everybody, wear a sign, let the world know.

"Maybe that will help."

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