Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcer: "In the ghetto criminal justice system, the people are represented mostly by two members of the McBride family: Dudley 'Do-Right' McBride, police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, and attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I. This is their story."

(Cootie, Dudley and Rev. Cletus are listening to the sounds of Momma Church Hat conducting a severe rebuke and a beat-down of an insurance executive.)

Dudley: "What's Momma Church Hat doing locked inside the insurance executive's office?"

Rev. Cletus: "Momma got a $5,000 hospital bill with a $500 co-pay! And she can't afford the co-pay."

Cootie: "She's a victim of gougenomics! It's when company 'A' and hospital 'B' charge an astronomical price to do a medical procedure so that patient C is forced to sacrifice half of his or her fixed income to pay the co-pay."

Dudley: "And what a price to pay."

Cootie: "Can you convince her to reason and resolve this issue? I believe the insurance executive has endured enough of the swinging 10 ounce purse."

Rev. Cletus (yells): "Momma Church Hat, you know the good book says, 'Turn the other cheek!'"

Momma Church Hat (yells back): "Please forgive me, pastor! I've run out of cheeks. I know I have four cheeks; however, I lost control after turning the third cheek!"

(She continues beating.)

Dudley: "The teachable moment here is: poor folk have their limits, too. Enough is enough—especially after you've turned the third cheek."

Doink, Doink!