Jackson Free Press

Mr. Announcement: "In the ghetto criminal justice system, the people are represented by members of the Ghetto Science Community: police officer and part-time security guard at the Funky Ghetto Mall, Dudley ‘Do-Right' McBride; attorney Cootie McBride of the law firm McBride, Myself and I; and Sista Encouragement, co-host of the Rev. Cletus Car Sales Church Broadcast. This is their story."

Dudley: "Cootie, remember my last theory about something in the water making people do crazy things? I'm watching a news story on cable television that illustrates my point: A flight attendant cusses out the passengers, grabs two beers, jumps off the plane and runs home."

Cootie: "And, coincidentally, the dispatcher called us to investigate a frustrated Ghetto Rapid Transit bus driver who parked his bus in the middle of the street, jumped out of the driver's seat, and is outside of the bus fussing and yelling to himself."

Sista Encouragement: "This brother needs an intervention."

(Dudley, Cootie and Sister Encouragement drive to the scene in the Law ‘n' Order SUV. When they arrive, Sista Encouragement tries to calm Deacon Boudreaux, the bus driver, while Dudley and Cootie talk to bus passengers.)

Sista Encouragement: "I know you sometimes feel like a motherless child a long way from home. Despite the craziness and troubles of this world, you must try to keep your head while others are losing theirs. Just realize that you, your passengers and I are victims and spectators in this funky society."

Deacon Boudreaux: "Thanks, Sista, I needed that."

Doink, doink!