Jackson Free Press

Boneqweesha Jones: "I heard James Brown paraphrase a Bible verse at the end of one of his songs: ‘If you don't work, you don't eat.' And right now in America, people are starving. I spoke to Pookie Peterz, the Ghetto Science Team's resident economist, about the falling unemployment rate. He said: ‘A lot of people lost their jobs because of a bad economy that started around 2007. And now companies refuse to hire folk who have been unemployed for a year. Therefore, the jobless are hopeless, and gave up looking for work.'

"This is a sad situation for common folk who have lost their jobs. Now the unemployed are ‘branded' like Chuck Conners from the 1965 television western series on NBC. If you were born before 1965 or have seen the re-runs of the television show ‘Branded,' you know what I'm talking about.

"The United States Cavalry unjustly accused Chuck Conners of cowardice and kicked him out of the Army. Today, corporations unjustly accuse laid off workers for being lazy and keep able-bodied individuals jobless. And the ‘branded' unemployed can't even get a break from Congress.

"Oh, well. People will break your legs and call you a cripple; they'll poke out your eyes and call you blind.

"Effective this fall semester, Hair-Did University School of Cosmetology and Vocational Studies will offer emergency tuition discounts for unemployed workers in need of training for a new career.

"As president of H.D.U. School of Cosmetology and Vocational Studies, I approved this message."